Romans 13:8-10Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
In today’s post I’m going to be talking about the command to “love your neighbor as yourself.” My goal is that the study of these often-quoted passages will highlight the importance of the call on believers to reflect God’s love, while also leaving you with some practical life applications. And please don’t think of studying this command as cliche or overdone—if Jesus calls it the 2nd greatest commandment, then I believe it’s always worth revisiting and studying more.
Luke 10:25-37 is where Jesus tells us who we are to consider our neighbor, and from that parable of the Good Samaritan, we understand that the term “neighbors” equals “others.” Not just family, friends, people we like, or our physical neighbors. The meaning of the command to “Love your neighbor” throughout the context of Scripture is referring to anyone and everyone we encounter, including our enemies.
I opened this post with the verses from Romans 13 that state that “The commandments…are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Here are a few other iterations of this command to love others found in the New Testament:
Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
John 15:12 “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
Galatians 5:14“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
To get started on the “how to’s” of this common command, I want us to first look at a teaching in our culture that actually prevents us from obeying the call to love our neighbors. One of the biggest messages in our world today is “LOVE YOURSELF.” You hear it everywhere, from songs, to social media, and even in educational systems. The mantra of “Love yourself first” has become so popular that honestly a day doesn’t go by without me hearing or seeing this being taught, shared, or said in some form or another. I’m sure you’ve experienced this too!
This principle of loving yourself first and foremost is used constantly among secular psychologists, therapists, and counselors. It’s often talked about as if learning to love yourself can help you, well, fix yourself. But did you know that NOWHERE in the Bible do we see the command to love ourselves? Even so, people often quote passages like the following to “prove” this concept:
Leviticus 19:18 - The context of the Lord giving Moses instructions on how the Israelite people were to live and act. “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”
Matthew 22:37-40 - The context of Jesus answering the question of “What is the greatest commandment?”Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Those who want to justify this worldly command to “love yourself” with the Bible will say things like, “See? These passages show that God does want you to love yourself! They imply the need to love yourself before you can love others.”
The problem with that logic is that these verses actually assume something very important about our human nature—that we are sinful, selfish, and naturally care for ourselves above all else. The Bible never has to instruct us to love ourselves because we already do. So when we start to listen to the world’s deceptive message of “work on yourself and love yourself first, then you’ll be able to love and help others,” we are falling for a huge lie from the Enemy. If we work on loving ourselves more than we already naturally do, we are simply building up our prideful and selfish ways. Rather than growing in humility and in a desire to serve God and others, we will find it more and more difficult to think of others’ needs as more important than our own (Philippians 2:3-4).
To truly grow in our ability to love others, we have to first start by refusing to give into worldly ways of thinking about love. We must choose to think of love as God has instructed us:
1 John 4:7-12Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
Loving our neighbors as ourselves requires an understanding of God’s love, which is shown to us through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. God gave His only Son as a sacrifice for our sins. Only someone saved by faith in Jesus Christ can then reciprocate God’s love to others. And in that 1 John passage we are told that loving others will be proof to the world that we know God and have a relationship with Him. Thus Jesus’ command to love our neighbors must be at the front and center of our thoughts and priorities, rather than focusing on how to love self better.
So how do we reflect God’s love and obey this command to love our neighbors? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us a detailed description of love that comes from God:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
One way we can practically grow in loving our neighbors as ourselves is by seeking to exemplify those character traits of true love to the people around us. Personally, I can’t get past the first statement of “Love is patient” without thinking of 100 things I could work on to be more patient this coming week. I would challenge you to think through the characteristics of love and focus on one or two you’d like to see growth in. Then ask the Lord humbly and repeatedly to help you desire to grow in that characteristic, and for His strength to follow through in actually doing so. Invite a friend to help you work on how you’re loving others, since those close to us are often able to see areas of weakness more clearly than we can.
I know this post was not extensive or comprehensive when it comes to the topic of “Love your neighbor as yourself,” but my goal is that it inspires you to study more of what God’s Word has to say about loving like He does. My prayer is that this post helped you revisit this often-quoted command, and that you walk away feeling refreshed by your understanding of God’s purpose in calling us to love. I look forward to diving into what it means to “glorify God” in all we do in my next newsletter, and as always, thank you for giving this a read or listen!
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