Hebrews 10:24-25 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together..." In this first newsletter, I wanted to share a little about accountability. For me, it’s one of the main reasons I want to start writing and sharing with others regularly. I want to encourage other believers in the importance of keeping each other accountable through speaking truth to one another.
Accountability is a word that is often used in Christian circles. We are told that accountability is important and necessary for our spiritual growth. We hear that we should make sure to have “accountability partners,” especially for when we are struggling with specific sins. We also see that accountability is necessary among believers to help “keep a good witness” to the world around us. However, many of us don’t actually know what it means to be accountable in our own lives, let alone how to “keep others accountable.” For me, I was not a part of a small group until college. It was a mixed group led by my college pastor. I first encountered what it meant to be accountable when we were asked to share any struggles we were facing. One night in that group, I saw several young men who were my classmates, friends, and brothers-in-Christ admit to the group their battle with addiction to pornography. As we cried together, my heart ached at how open and vulnerable these brothers were. It was an extremely hard thing for them to do, but they all shared how they didn’t want to struggle alone anymore. I had never experienced open confession in a group in that way before. Was that what it meant to be accountable? This was an example to me of how important regular confession to other believers was, in order to fight against enslaving sin struggles that are a temptation for us all. When my husband and I moved to Lafayette and joined Faith Church, we immediately joined a small group Bible study. This group consisted of young professionals, newlyweds, and graduate students, so my husband and I felt very comfortable right away. This small group was different from my college experience, though. The first night we attended, the group split up into guys and gals to “do accountability.” I really had no idea what this meant. Then the lady leading us explained that they usually go around sharing praises, prayer requests, and things that they wish to be held accountable for during the week. Throughout the week, we would check up on each other to see how we were handling those issues. I have always been more of an open book kind of person, so this process never really felt uncomfortable to me. I started sharing my struggles each week with these women, and the more I did, the more I grew. For me, this demonstrated practically part of what it meant to be accountable.
Checking up on someone, for our group, does not mean just asking them pointedly about sins they may be struggling with. It also doesn’t mean just asking, “How are you doing?” and accepting “Fine” as an answer. The way we hold each other accountable is by sharing ways we want to improve our time in the Word and prayer that week. We also share if we want to be checked on about different issues, like controlling anxious thoughts or speaking encouraging rather than critical words to our husbands. This is a practical step we take in order to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another” (James 5:16). We share our struggles in a small group setting, or one on one, in order that others can pray for us. Then we give practical instructions to our accountability partners, like “Can you ask me about how I’ve been spending my free time?” or “Can you ask me how I’m doing with controlling my anger?” This gives our partners freedom to ask about the harder issues we face in our daily lives and walks with the Lord. Practicing these types of conversations can really help us live out how to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). How can we help bear something we don’t know is going on?It may seem legalistic to some, but I have found that this system has encouraged me to make a habit to truly ask my sisters in Christ how they are doing--with time in the Word, prayer, their thoughts, and in their relationships. It’s not just part of a spiritual checklist for me. It’s a growing awareness of how we all need people walking besides us in our faith to help us overcome the different struggles and trials we may face. Hebrews 3:13 says that we are to “exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” To help guard our hearts against giving in to unbelief and sin, we are called to exhort one another. I have also found that the more I share my sin and struggles with others, the more I want to actually change and overcome them. I also have seen that my sisters in Christ are much more willing to share what they are going through when someone else shares first. It may be awkward or uncomfortable to be the only one being “real” or “honest” at the beginning of an accountability relationship, but I have seen that God blesses our confessions and desire to walk in repentance. This is actually a way that we can “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) when we are there to share with and rejoice in the growth of each other’s faith. I believe the Bible shows us that God gave us community for a reason, and holding others accountable in this way can truly help us grow in producing the fruit of the Spirit and walking in obedience.
Questions to reflect on:
* Do you have someone to keep you accountable?
* Do you seek ways to keep your friends accountable? How?
* What are the biggest challenges you face when thinking about being intentional in this way?
* What biblical reasons are there for seeking to be accountable to others?
