Lately, I've been pondering womanhood, the unsung challenges, and the strengths that define us as a gender. Read on (or listen to the audio version!) and let me know your thoughts.
Not Many People Know This Horror Story
It happened on my first night in Budapest. I was traveling alone and I hopped on the nightly river cruise to see the city lights from their main water channel. Lovely! Another great solo travel memory for the books.
I decided to walk back to my Airbnb. It was just 30 minutes by foot. How dangerous could it be?
I was careful. Crossing to the more peaceful-looking sidewalk whenever I glimpse a group of partygoers ahead. I love walking and taking in a city bit by bit, statue by statue, building by building. Lovely!
Until, on a dark and quiet street and between parked cars, a man appeared to indulging in an indecent solo act. “P*tangina,” I said aloud and in shock. He was masturbating. T*ngina lang talaga.
I walked on, speeding up, scanning for people and escape routes. The pervert pursued me while continuing the deed. Motherf*cker! I turned around and shouted, “Get the f*ck away from me.” I sped up even more. So did he. WTF!
Thankfully I turned the corner and there were people sitting on a bench. He disappeared and I was left with a mix of disgust, fury, and helplessness. I wish I could’ve smashed his face in or, better yet, sliced out his “manhood”.
What a night. Lovely, just lovely.
Can guys really get it?
I spoke to a male friend that night to keep me company on the phone. But I don’t think he really understood the depth of my emotions, the frustration over my vulnerability and helplessness.
There are just some things about the female experience that are difficult to empathize with unless you’ve gone through something similar. For example: getting your period for the first time. WAH!😩
Biological Hassles of Being a Woman
Oh that monthly frenemy: menstru-frikkin-ation. It's an odyssey laden with physical and emotional discomfort and pain. Real pain. Headaches, cramps, and a sensation of feeling either like an inflating or a deflating balloon.😆 Not to mention the icky feeling of having to change a napkin or tampon. UGH. Thank you to whoever invented the menstrual cup because it changed my life!
There are endless hassles linked to this periodic reminder that we're designed to bring life into the world.
Now… For the women who do choose to embrace motherhood, the challenges are monumental. There's the physical pain of pregnancy and childbirth while not being able to drink alcohol or eat sushi. I mean, what?! There are sleepless nights and endless responsibilities of nurturing a life. Yes, yes, many say it’s all worth it. But that doesn’t erase the struggle—it is real.
Sociological Shiz Women Deal With
And then there are the sociological hassles. The everyday experience of walking alone, only to be met with unsolicited advances and catcalls. The gnawing feeling of unease when we're not in a group or in the quiet of our own homes. The ever-present awareness that personal safety comes with an asterisk followed by the disclaimers of outfit, how much alcohol we drink, who we choose to go out with, how we present ourselves... Queue the dramatic eye-roll.🙄
Conversations with Other Women
Talking to fellow women about these challenges feels like a lifeline. It's a way to connect, share experiences, and seek support. We understand the emotions, the nuances, and the triumphs because we've lived them.
The empowering conversations I've had with women like Sinag Adviento, for example, who built a career in the culinary world despite having to overcome stereotypes and sexism in the kitchen, have been a source of comfort and, well, angst.
Feminism in Spain
In Spain, the feminist movement seems robust. Though I haven’t been here long enough to truly understand it, feminism here seems like a powerful force that not only brings people to the streets in protest but also influences politics and social structures.
Here, for example, women entrepreneurs and freelancers get extra financial support from the government. Men do, too, but women are given a little bit more. Does that seem fair to you?
ICYMI, there’s a discrimination case in the U.S. against a VC that provides funding to black women entrepreneurs. Sharing Spotify link here in case you find it interesting!
I had this conversation recently with a business consultant and he acknowledges that while women here are strong, independent, and have fairly equal opportunities, the statistics show that there are a lot less women entrepreneurs that achieve success. Until the scales tip in favor of equal support and opportunities, he believes these initiatives level the playing field.
Might also be a good time to plug Imaginable Impact, an organization empowering filipina entrepreneurs!
So maybe some guys do get it!
The Flip Side
I’m recalling my post-Barbie-movie conversation. We admitted that we wondered how different life might be if we were born men. I know I’ve thought about this a lot, maybe even prayed to be teleported to universe where Janine is James. Lol.
The freedom, the lack of judgment, and the absence of constant apprehension. Freedom.
Living in a place with fewer catcalling and the liberty to leave home without a bra is liberating! Might sound babaw but it’s true. There’s a lightness in letting go of what society expects women to be.
On the podcast, Sinag shared the story of the first time she felt like “I was seen not as a woman but as a professional.” It gave me goosebumps.
Moments when you feel like you are seen and appreciated for who you really are and not just the gender/race/age/label/box you’re associated with are magical moments. So lovely.
Would love to hear your ideas on womanhood, feminism, gender and social equality! Diverse perspectives enrich the discussion. There’s a lot we can learn from each other’s experiences if we took the time to really listen.😊 Drop a comment or send me a message!
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