Hi, I’m Kaitlyn 👋
I write about real life through the lens of astrology. My goal is to help as many people as possible learn to love themselves for who they are—dark parts and all. I believe the parts we were taught to hide are where our true gifts lie.Â
My focus is to inspire you to feel confident enough to shine without the fear, regardless of the expectations of others.
In this post I will touch on the current political landscape and take a time machine back to the pandemic. If you’re not in a space to read about it, feel free to come back another time, or skip it all together. If you do continue to read, I ask that you keep an open mind and be gentle with yourself and anyone who you may come in contact with in the comments.
The wave of the past week is starting to level out. I battled with my inner world throughout the past few days as my own emotional wave ebbed, flowed, crashed, and burned. I bit my tongue because I felt an unexpected fire within me—not from the election results themselves, but from the aftermath. It was an interesting ride to grapple with, and an unexpected one because I’m not even American (though I would argue that what happens in the US affects many of us all over the globe in one way or another, even if not exclusively through a political lens), but I am human.
I witnessed as some Liberals turned into those they claim to hate—spewing harsh words towards their “opponents.” Words like idiot, psycho, rapist, racist, misogynist, and more flooded my feeds coming from the fingertips of those who I once considered myself to align with. Confusion and heartbreak took over my body as I watched the people I once related to and agreed with turn into the oppressors they claim to hate—I wondered if they realised the irony of the hate speech they were spewing. For a group that prides themselves on inclusivity, exclusivity is one of the strongest approaches to how many are now moving in the world these days. I understand the feelings around it, as I felt some of them myself, but it’s important to remember the power we continue to hold.
The Great Jupiter/Saturn Conjunction of 2020
As the days went on I felt my body go back to 2020, around the time of the vaccine rollout during the pandemic. Many of those names above were names I was called back then, all because of a decision I made for my own body. I was told I didn’t care about the wellbeing of others—that I was the problem. I still wonder if I would’ve been invited to family dinners or shunned like the rest. Luckily I was on my way back to Thailand at the beginning of 2021, where I was greeted with smiles, fresh roses, never once being asked about my “status” still to this day, nothing but love and feelings of inclusion, so I didn’t get to find out.
Before we go any further, if your views oppose mine on this topic, and you’re feeling any type of way as you read what I just said. I would invite you to pause, take a breath, and dig deeper into why you may be having this particular reaction. It’s okay to leave, I fully support you taking care of yourself in the best way possible for you, but consider that inquiring within may be what’s best in this moment.Â
* Name the feeling/emotion
* Ask yourself why you might be feeling this way (does it challenge your beliefs, is it fear, a reaction to something from the past, or something else?)
* Think about a time when you felt this before—what did you make it mean about yourself? How might things be different now?
* Send some love to that version of yourself, and you now.Â
* Take a breath, check in with yourself, and ask yourself if you want to continue reading
During this time in 2020, we experienced the beginning of a new Jupiter and Saturn cycle. Jupiter and Saturn are less personal, and more about what’s going on around us collectively. Jupiter represents our beliefs, world view, and education—while Saturn rules over our systems, governments, and authority. At the end of 2020, these two planets were holding hands in the sky in the sign of Aquarius. We lived through the contradiction of these two energies during the pandemic, seeing a line of division drawn in the sand (or concrete?) with many people not willing to budge. We saw restrictions placed on our local communities, expansion of systemic issues (and our leaders doubling down), free speech was limited and anything that went against the mainstream was labelled as misinformation. There were new developments in medical technology (aka the jab), and while we couldn’t meet in person, the rise of online communities expanded allowing us to connect through space and time.Â
This was when I was newly sober, and I was scared to speak up about my own beliefs because they went against what I was told to believe. People would assume I had chosen the same as them and I didn’t correct them much at that time because I was filled with fear. I was scared to confront others because I was trying so hard to confront myself, while not risking my own sobriety—a delicate balance. I knew I wasn’t an evil person like they said I was, but somehow when you’re suddenly being called racist, misogynist, careless, and a killer, it does something to your wellbeing. I didn’t know what power lied within me yet, and I was scared to be true to myself in fear of hurting others. This led me to recover from alcoholism quietly, without community other than some new connections I made online.
Interestingly enough, during my journey with sobriety, and around the time of the pandemic, I battled with my identity—especially in relationship with politics and the world around me. Not having the bottle to numb out my intuition and sensitivities had me consistently looking outside of myself for clues on how to be human, re-learning how to connect to my innate knowing. Was I careless? Was I a murderer? Was I racist? These were questions I asked myself when names would be thrown my way by those I once respected, including those leading my country. I had to dig deep to unravel the layers within—the light and the dark.
It takes a special brand of honesty to confront parts of ourselves that we would rather instantly negate and ignore.Â
Your beliefs (Jupiter) and the government (Saturn) had to align, or you were cast out of the group. Whichever “side” you were on, you experienced it at some level. Either you believed you were protecting your loved ones from danger by getting vaccinated and shunning those who didn’t, or you were on the receiving end of the shunning and left to your own devices while having blame placed on you for the global situation we found ourselves in, bearing the weight of all the problems in the world on our one set of tiny shoulders. There were also those who chose not to get vaccinated cut off those who did—again, a line in the sand. Students were banned from schools, workers fired from places of business, and others were afraid to speak their mind. Small businesses were incentivised to keep us out, while big named corporations were free-for-alls. We saw the underbelly of our societal weaknesses playing out live time, all purely based in fear and financial gain.Â
As time went on and I continued to stay sober, I dove deep into my own psyche and wounds; leaned into my practices of yoga, astrology, exercise, play, writing, and meditation; and I learned to trust myself. I became so grounded and connected in my being that I could discern between what felt right and true for me and what didn’t. I opened my eyes to what was really going on, and I grieved. I felt my identity crumble, and with the crumbling of my identity I was able to build from a place of true reverence. I leaned into my new found practices to hold me, and my new found strength from within, and from spirit that I was no longer pushing away.
I found my power within, and that is something nobody will ever take from me again.Â
I have my morals and my values, which don’t fit in any one political box, and I try my best to live by them every day. I see both “sides,” and I can relate to both “sides.” I see in grayscale rather than black and white. I will never truly fit within one box, and my beliefs are ever changing as I continue to have conversations, ask questions, and feel into what is right by my own standards. I’m no longer afraid of being disliked (although that beast still rears its ugly head at times, like as I write this post and anticipate the possibility of you leaving), and I stand firm in my being while allowing others to do the same without feeling as though my own identity is threatened. It’s okay if we don’t agree, and I won’t try to convince you to follow my beliefs because I understand we are all individuals who make up a whole community. There are parts of us that others will never understand, and I won’t try to take that from you—you get to decide what is right for you.
Needless to say, I’ve already been called all the names you could call me, so my skin is pretty tough at this point, and luckily my heart is still soft. Even through the hate I believe most people are inherently good. We want the same things, we just can’t seem to agree on how to get there.
The Current Jupiter/Saturn Square
We’re now at the opening square of this cycle that began in 2020, where Jupiter in Gemini is in tension with Saturn in Pisces. This brings up any conflict between our beliefs and our systems, a clash in opinions and a bump in the road as we try to move forward, maybe even a tension between your own beliefs and the system you grew up with and continue to benefit from and live within, much like I experienced in 2020. Both of these signs (Gemini and Pisces) are dualistic in nature, so it’s no surprise that we’re in this predicament.Â
There are similarities between the pandemic and now. There’s a large division between political viewpoints leading people to cut off loved ones purely based on who they voted for, without having constructive conversations. It’s like an unorganised pile of yarn, different strands and colours balled up and knotted together, and we’re slowly picking through, following the strands and untangling the knots. Where has my identity become tied up with my beliefs? Where are the knots so tight that I need to step back and take a breath before continuing to pull at the yarn so the knots don’t just become tighter. It takes gentle care to unravel our identities from the system that created us (and that we created). It takes patience, love, and maybe a few breaks so we can continue to come back to the knots with fresh eyes and an open heart.
A friend of mine reached out to me after the election, asking me if there was any sort of witchy seance we could do to make this go away. My response was one she wasn’t expecting, and I realise it may have felt harsh (I later apologised for my delivery), but I couldn’t silence my own voice and feelings in the moment. I responded with “the only witchy seance is to actually take action and change our own behaviours because we’re no different than the dudes at the top. No loving and lighting the way out of this one.” I expressed that I recognised it’s not the answer she was expecting, but I’m tired of us pushing blame onto others, flinging s**t around without taking accountability for our own actions. She wasn’t happy with my answer.
“Whenever you get triggered, somebody pulled that trigger perhaps. But who is the one carrying the ammunition? How you handle people who trigger you, that is your call. But at least know that you are the one with all the explosives inside you, and you gain so much liberation if you find out what that ammunition is and how you got it by getting to know yourself.”Â
We can start to get to know ourselves by recognising when we feel activated by something in the zeitgeist. Look at the “opposition.” What is it about this person that irks you? It may be how they carry themselves, their beliefs, their actions. Put it on paper and make a list. Sit with the list and ask yourself where this lives within you—it may bring up things from your past, beliefs you hold, maybe you’ll even see parts of these qualities in your own actions.Â
For those who are name-calling, angry, or upset in any way, I invite you to look into why. What feelings are coming up for you? What lies underneath the hate? Dive deeper into the why and the part you play.
With the North Node having been in Aries for the past year and a half, I have been working on using my own voice rather than watering myself down to make myself more palatable to others. I have a voice for a reason, and I’m going to use it. It’s scary as f**k, but it’s even scarier to stay silent.
This is the time where we’re putting down the people-pleasing tendencies and finding our voice. Relationships may be tattered beyond repair, and I would argue that this might be a good thing because it means you’re growing and becoming clearer on what you value. New relationships may be built as a result of honouring yourself. The problem comes when we’re unwilling to listen and have constructive conversations with those who have different views, instantly resorting to name-calling instead of diving deeper into our own emotional bodies, recalibrating, and coming from a place of love.
Saturn in PiscesÂ
Saturn first moved into Pisces in March 2023 and it will remain there until May 2025. Since 2023, we’ve been faced with lessons of Pisces topics like boundaries, compassion, spirit, and trusting our intuition. As our great teacher, Saturn is a planet of lessons and maturity—we’re currently in the process of learning how to place proper boundaries, protect our energy, and employ compassion. There’s a coming back to the notion that we are not separate, which is why the practice of noticing qualities you see in others (both desirable and undesirable) is important at this time. What you see in another lives within you—we’re not separate.
Jupiter in Gemini
Jupiter has been in Gemini since May of this year. I won’t go too deeply into this, but if you’d like to listen to the podcast I recorded about it back in May, you can listen to it here:
Pluto at the last degree of Capricorn
If there’s one thing all “sides” can agree on, it’s that our current systems are crumbling. The shadow side of Capricorn is well exposed at this point, and the good news is we now get to do something about it instead of letting it fester below the surface. It was always there, and now we’re able to see it. It feels confronting because as a society we’ve been taught to look the other way—out of sight, out of mind. It’s harder to ignore and pretend there’s nothing wrong with the world when it’s falling onto our laps.
Now is the time to reflect on how you support the beast. Venus has just moved into Capricorn, and we’re about to have a full moon in Taurus. Venus represents our values, relationships, and finances. It may be worth taking a moment to see where you vote with your wallet, time, and energy everyday. The real work is reflected by our daily actions and interactions with others and the world around us. It’s easy to say you support something, but are you actually putting your money where your mouth is? It’s one thing to be a keyboard warrior, and a whole other thing to actually do the work.Â
Why not take the energy used to tell others what they’re doing wrong, and use it to do something right?
In the spirit of this post and the current climate, please refrain from any hateful comments directed at anyone, including yourself. It takes courage to dig deeper within, with compassion, and I ask that if you are going to comment today, be courageous.
In the next post I’ll dive deeper into how to work with the full moon in Taurus to align our actions with our values; work that I believe is more important now than ever before because this is where real change happens.
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