Hello, and welcome to Volume 43 of the Underground Binder Clip Society.
[ The Following Excerpt Is From last Monday, a few days before my 24th birthday ]
I am 24 this Wednesday. Twice the age I was when I first thought to myself,
“man, i’m getting old.”
I feel a lot like that 12 year old boy when I write like this. I’ve been trying to let him drive more. I stood atop my picnic table table yesterday in the backyard. Surveying the land and the tops of neighboring houses further down the hill. My soil is richening each day. What has been planted I do not know, but the seed has been scattered. God, I feel it. I’ve been uprooted, thrashed and turned back over to the earth. My skint knees have yet to slow my stride. I’ve played on, blood running down me, Just like my younger brother taught me. Pop back up. Rub some dirt in it. He’d act like he’d never fallen in the first place. Only upset because he’d be slown down. No time to hurt.
Ive taught myself a similar thing. To sing a new song. And another one. And then another. I try to suck the marrow out of life. But sometimes it sucks it out of me. Some days I’m bled dry. For what? I don’t know.
To find love? To be less alone? To make a friend? To be one?
I don’t know. But I do feel stronger. I am still laughing about it all. Mosts days at least. Crying too. But it takes a lot more to get me there. I cant afford it as much anymore. Gotta keep rolling.
I am grateful though. I’ve got a little something to show for myself. I think i’ve been honest. And I’ve plead guilty when I’ve had to. Beats the hell out of being a lie.
I feel somebody praying for me. Thats for sure. A good bit of my family has turned religious lately. Maybe they’re praying for me.
I know mama is. Daddy too. I pray for them too. And my brother and my sister. We are all pretty much a mess. Or something close to it. A hard-working, hard-headed bunch. And thats enough, a lot of the time.
Like I said. I’m grateful.
…
It’s Wednesday.
I am
24.
I am
still here.
Well fed. Full of songs. Held by friends. Fighting. (For love and for truth.)
I am,
not yet done.
Still tuning up. Needing sunshine. Still dancing in the rain and
landing on my feet.
…
I’m surprised they let me go this long. I’m surprised i’ve lived to see it.
Exes married. Taxes filed.
Futures forgone. Apologies unmade.
“don’t say sorry less your wrong”
So, I’m not sorry.
For my being here. For my being me. And loving hard. And staying true.
…
Thumpa thumpa thump
goes my achy breaky heart
always needs a fix
but I can always make it start
(Or break it worse.)
(S**t.)
…
This is
24
and some change.
Yours Truly,
Jake Smith
Here are this week’s “Quick Clips”:
* My new song “My Sunshine (Let It Burn)” is out now. Stream it here.
* I am playing a solo show next month in St. Louis on April 23rd! Mark your calendars if you are around and stay tuned for details!
* We played an awesome full band show this past Saturday celebrating the homie Bedon and his new album! I may be sharing some new demos from band practice soon for paid subscribers.
Support me and this newsletter by becoming a paid subscriber, buying merch, or by streaming my music!
As always, shoot me an email if you want to work on music, remote or in-person, here in Nashville, TN.
<3
