Written 9/28/2025.
A friend confided in me that she still had feelings for a man who she had a relationship with and has since then gotten back with his former wife.
I asked whether she had gotten rid of all the pictures, gifts, blocked him on social media, etc. to which she replied, “no.”
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In my opinion, the only way to get over a person is to get rid of everything, so nothing is left to remind you of them. Especially if the feelings still linger.
I said that she needed to block him on social media, delete all the photos off her phone and burn the pictures and anything else she had.
Ultimately it came down to the only way to allow a new person into her life was to make space for that new, unknown, person. The only one she was hurting was herself by not doing this.
She agreed.
It still took 3 weeks of coaxing, but she finally accomplished the task, to which I said I had a reward for her. I had made brownies, and I could A. drop them off tomorrow, B. she could pick them up, or C. we could arrange sometime in the upcoming week to meetup.
She replied, “do you mean I can pick them up now?”
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I looked at the clock, it was almost 11 pm. I looked like crap, but was fully clothed, so replied, “sure.”
Ten minutes later a car rolled up, and she got her brownies (which I had frozen since she hadn’t finished the task in the first week).
I said that I was sooo flipping proud of her. It’s hard to destroy fond memories. They just didn’t serve her life and filled up the space where new love would blossom.
I’ve had to do the same thing with an ex-girlfriend. It was hard, but necessary. Today I actually started clearing out some of the stuff that my ex-wife had given to me. It was time to move on. I’ll save some for my kids so they can see that we did love each other early in our years together. Everything later in the marriage will be tossed.
Personally, I feel lighter already with the things I threw away. It’s time to allow new life and love into my life. I too must clear away the old and prepare a space for my future love.
What about you? Are you still holding onto things from a prior relationship that no longer serve you? Let me know what you’re going to do about it.
Blessings always,
Robert
