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Every season asks something different of us.And winter, Season of Self — this sacred descent inward — asks us to tell the truth about what we’ve been carrying, what we’ve been giving, and what it has been costing us.
Today’s podcast episode walked us straight into that truth: a reckoning with the ways giving has been weaponized under empire, and an invitation to reclaim generosity as something rooted in dignity, not depletion.
Beneath the stories, the laughter, the realness, and the moments where the body remembered before the mind did — a deeper truth emerged:
Most of us were taught to give from fear, guilt, or obligation… not from capacity, alignment, or reciprocity.
And that distortion didn’t come from our cultures.
It came from empire.
The Myth of “Good Giving”
We started where many of our stories begin:Watching the adults who raised us sacrifice themselves in the name of love.Carrying the unspoken expectation that “good people give until they’re empty.”Learning that the cost of belonging is self-abandonment.
But what we explored in the episode — and what expands even more clearly here — is that these beliefs didn’t originate in our families.They were inherited through systems that trained entire communities to confuse depletion with devotion.
Empire taught us:
* Self-denial = holiness
* Exhaustion = virtue
* Martyrdom = love
* Silence = obedience
* “Goodness” = disappearing into other people’s needs
These are the fingerprints of Constantine, not Christ.Of colonial Christianity, not community.Of supremacy culture, not ancestral wisdom.
We have been performing empire’s version of generosity while calling it family, culture, faith, and duty.
Somatic Pause
Unclench your jaw.Let your shoulders drop.Feel your body respond to the idea that giving could center you, too.
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What We Discussed:
Talking Point 1: We Learned Giving Through Survival, Not Choice
Most of us didn’t learn generosity in environments where our needs mattered.We learned giving as a strategy to stay safe, stay included, or stay “good.”
Liberatory Reframe:Giving rooted in survival is not the same as giving rooted in sovereignty.You get to choose now. That is the work empire never wanted us to do.
Reflection Questions:
* Where did I learn that giving is how I prove my worth?
* When does giving feel like pressure rather than desire?
* What part of me still believes rest must be earned?
Talking Point 2: Empire Taught Us That Exhaustion Is Holy
Under Constantine and colonial Christianity, sacrifice became a performance of goodness.Our families inherited that story. We inherited their exhaustion.
Liberatory Reframe:Your capacity is sacred. Your boundaries are sacred. Your replenishment is sacred.Liberatory giving strengthens the giver — it does not erase them.
Reflection Questions:
* What expectations about giving live in my body but not in my values?
* When I say yes, is it coming from alignment or fear of disappointing someone?
* What becomes possible when I stop treating depletion as devotion?
Talking Point 3: Giving Without Reciprocity Reproduces Empire
Empire turned giving into a vertical transaction:power → downwardobedience → upwardself → last
But our ancestral practices were circular. Mutual. Returning.
Liberatory Reframe:Reciprocity is not a luxury. It’s the structure that keeps community alive.If giving always flows one way, it’s not generosity — it’s extraction.
Reflection Questions:
* Where is reciprocity present in my life?
* Where is it missing?
* What relationships, institutions, or traditions ask for my labor without offering support?
Reclaiming Generosity From the Inside Out:
Liberatory giving begins with the giver, not the gift.
We asked:
* What does my body actually have capacity for?
* Where am I giving from fear instead of fullness?
* What expectations live inside me that I never consented to?
And beneath every one of those questions was a reclamation:
You were never meant to be the offering.Your life is not the altar.Your exhaustion is not required for your belonging.
Empire demands self-abandonment.Liberation demands self-regard.
Somatic Pause
Feel your feet.Feel your breath.Let your body register the possibility of generosity that includes you.
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