"We are living in the throes of a dying empire, and like any death, it fights to hold on. Grief is not just about loss; it's about transformation, reckoning, and the space in between. Today, we hold space for the grief of healing, the truth of violence (internal and external), and the call to return to ourselves."— Desireé B. Stephens
“We Are in the Death Rattle of Empire”
We are not simply living through chaotic times — we are witnessing the slow unraveling of empire. The death rattle is loud, violent, and panicked. It’s a collective grief many of us are still trying to name, and a reckoning most aren’t ready to face.
In today’s live, I shared reflections on how grief, multiple truths, and power must be held in tension — and in truth — if we are going to navigate liberation with integrity. Especially in mixed spaces.
If you missed the live, here’s your invitation to sit with these words and bring them into your body. This isn’t just reflection, this is praxis.
3 Core Talking Points with Reflections & Reframes:
Talking Point 1: Grief is a Portal, Not a Problem
“White folks, you are going to have to grieve a lot. The history of white-on-white violence didn’t begin with us. It began with Christianization and conquest. And it’s still playing out, even in how you mourn your martyrs.”
Reframe:
Grief is not a weakness, it’s a sign that something mattered. But grief that is not metabolized turns into projection and performance. Your tears cannot be a substitute for transformation.
Reflection:
* What grief have you been trying to bypass because it might make you look “less good” or “less evolved”?
* Can you name the violence in your lineage without making yourself the victim?
* What parts of empire have I internalized that are now dying within me?
* Am I trying to rush through the discomfort of this death, or am I making space to feel it?
* What parts of yourself are grieving the illusion of safety, control, or identity?
* When was the last time you allowed yourself to fully feel grief without intellectualizing it?
* In what ways have you expected others (especially Black or Indigenous folks) to carry your grief?
Multiple Truths Can Exist — But They Are Not All Centered
“It is possible for multiple truths to live at once. But not all truths carry the same weight in every room.”
Reframe:
Co-existing truths don’t mean co-equal experience. White-bodied folks must practice discernment about when your truth is healing — and when it’s harm.
Reflection:
* Where do you feel the urge to "share your truth" and how might that be a form of recentering?
* How do you distinguish between expression that’s healing and expression that’s performative?
* What does it mean to be responsible with your truth in communal spaces?
* What truth am I avoiding because it threatens my identity?
* What does it feel like in my body when I hear multiple truths that don’t resolve?
* Where do I feel disoriented when two truths sit beside each other?
3. Decentering Whiteness Is the Work — In Mixed Spaces Too
“Black folks do not get to opt out of the consequences. So white-bodied folks, the work is yours — especially in mixed spaces.”
Reframe:
Decentering whiteness doesn’t mean erasing white-bodied people, it means removing white dominance as the default lens. Mixed spaces are not neutral ground. They still hold the residue of supremacy.
Reflection:
* Where am I asking Black folks to hold my process?
* What would it look like to build a white-bodied grief circle rooted in accountability, not performance?
* How do I decenter whiteness without disassociating from the work?
* Where have I been more committed to being seen as “good” than doing good?
* What am I willing to lose to be in right relationship?
Journal Prompts (Self, Home, Work)
Self:
* What parts of your identity feel most threatened by grief or loss?
* How do you soothe your nervous system when the grief feels too big?
* What am I grieving right now—personally, collectively, ancestrally?
Home:
* What communal practices of grief or celebration can you bring into your space?
* How are you teaching others in your home to hold multiple truths?
* Where do I flinch in the face of grief, and what might happen if I stopped flinching?
Work:
* Where does whiteness still dominate the conversation, even in DEI spaces?
* What policies or norms at your job reinforce a single truth narrative?
* What truths do I resist because they threaten the position I’ve been clinging to?
Practice Your Praxis
This week, I invite you to:
* Attend to your grief, not just about what you’ve lost, but what you’re complicit in.
* Choose to listen longer in spaces where you would usually speak.
* Commit to one act of reparative witnessing, where you see without needing to fix or center yourself.
Somatic Support:
* Practice: Place your hand over your heart and another over your belly. Say aloud:“I make space for the grief I’ve swallowed to survive.”Breathe. Let your body feel what your mind cannot explain.
Closing Words:
"We are all being undone. Let that be a beginning."The death of empire is not your death. But pretending it isn’t happening might be. Stay grounded, stay human, and stay in the work.
Thank you Ginge, Rhea Daniel, It's Just My Trauma, Julie Unbound, Taylor McC, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.
In solidarity and transformation,Desireé B. Stephens, CPS‑PEducator | Counselor | Community Builder
Liberation doesn’t require your perfection — it requires your presence. Stay in it. Stay tender. Stay in integrity. We are building something that has never existed before.
