Every December like clockwork, the same patterns crawl back to the surface. Not because they’re new — but because dominant culture keeps repeating them, choosing comfort over accountability, performance over transformation, and the “lesser evil” over liberation.
Today’s piece is the companion article to my live session, and it’s also the bridge between last year’s series and what we’re navigating right now. Because the truth is simple: these cycles haven’t changed. They’ve only gotten louder.
👇🏾 Keep reading.
The Feeling You Know Before You Name It
Every December has a feeling to it — a tightening in the chest, a bracing in the shoulders, a familiar dread wrapped in twinkle lights. You feel the tone shift before anyone says a word.
It’s like walking into a family gathering where everyone promised to “keep it light,” but you already know Uncle So-and-So is revving up his annual “Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays” rant. You can smell the tension in the room the same way you can smell cinnamon in the stove: it’s coming whether you want it or not.
And for years, maybe you thought that discomfort meant something was wrong with you.
But discomfort is often the first signal that a myth is cracking.
The myth of unity.The myth of innocence.The myth that harm wrapped in tradition isn’t still harm.
That’s the thing about cycles—they show up long before you recognize them.And once you see the pattern, you can’t unsee it.
Why This Piece, Why Now
This month is the Season of Self, which comes after the Season of Descent — the place in the cycle where we slow down enough to finally notice what our bodies have been telling us all year.
And as we re-enter my annual December series — I Want to Wish You an Eschatological Christmas, where we move through decolonizing faith, and the birth of Supremacy Culture — I’m bringing last year’s article back into circulation not because I ran out of content… but because liberation work deserves repetition, not novelty.
We revisit these stories because the propaganda we inherited was flattened — stripped of context, politics, embodiment, and land.
My intention is not to take faith from you.It is to return truth to you.
We unflatten the myth so we can reclaim the story.
Talking Point 1: The Holiday Policing Cycle (A Myth of Belonging)
Reframe: This isn’t about religion. It’s about dominance.Reflection: Who is allowed belonging here — and who isn’t?
The “Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays” brigade emerges every year like they’re defending the gates of heaven.
But this isn’t about baby Jesus.This isn’t about faith.This is about cultural supremacy dressed up as nostalgia.
It mirrors the exact logic of abusive family systems:
* “We’ve always done it this way.”
* “Don’t ruin the holiday with your boundaries.”
* “Why are you being so sensitive?”
This policing of language becomes policing of identity. Of belonging. Of difference.
And those leaving Christian nationalism — or simply leaving Christian dominance —feel like they’re abandoning their families instead of liberating themselves from an abusive cycle.
Your discomfort is not betrayal.Your discomfort is awakening.
Reflection Questions:
* Where does holiday policing show up in your life?
* What does your body do when someone demands conformity masked as tradition?
* Who pays the price for someone else’s nostalgia?
Talking Point 2: The “Lesser of Two Evils” Cycle (A Myth of Safety)
Reframe: Choosing the lesser evil is still choosing harm.Reflection: How do we mistake moral comfort for collective liberation?
Last year, we talked about Biden pardoning Hunter, about the Crime Bill, about selective prosecution and architectures of punishment Biden helped build.
This year?
Different administration, same cycle.Different faces, same machinery.
Because dominant culture keeps choosing the “lesser of two evils,” and when they do, they are not just choosing for themselves. They are choosing for:
* Black communities
* Indigenous nations
* Immigrants
* Disabled people
* Poor and working-class people
* Queer and trans communities
* Religious minorities
When you are the dominant culture, your “lesser evil” is still evil for someone else.
This is what we talked about in last year’s article.This is what we are watching again right now.
The “lesser evil” myth is how empire teaches you to protect your comfort instead of dismantling the system itself.
Reflection Questions:
* Where do you see the “lesser evil” narrative shaping your choices?
* What harm gets ignored when comfort becomes the goal?
* Who benefits from your silence?
Talking Point 3: Leaving Systems Without Safety Nets
Reframe: People don’t abandon systems — systems abandon people.Reflection: What harm-reduction spaces do we owe those who are leaving?
Every year, around this time, people quietly slip out of:
* Churches
* Political identities
* Family patterns
* Whiteness-as-default
* Systems they once trusted
But leaving an abusive system does not instantly create safety.
There is grief.There is disorientation.There is “Who am I without this?”There is the spiritual homelessness no one talks about.
This is where harm reduction comes in.
Your job is not to yank people out of oppressive systems.Your job is to create the soft landings for when they decide to leave.
Just like trauma work:gentle pacing, choice, dignity, consent, co-regulation.
Without safety nets, people run back to the harm they know.
Reflection Questions:
* What systems have you outgrown — and what did you need but not receive?
* Who in your life is trying to leave a system right now?
* How can you make their landing softer?
Somatic Pause Before You Continue
Put one hand on your chest and one on your belly.Let your shoulders drop without forcing it.Feel the inhale rise underneath your hands.Exhale longer than you think you need to.
Ask your body:
* Where am I bracing?
* Whose expectations am I carrying?
* What truth becomes available when my body softens?
Exhale again.
Now keep reading.
Why Last Year’s Article Still Speaks Directly to This Moment
Because we are living through another cycle we’ve seen before —different faces, same pattern.
Last year we talked about:
* selective prosecution
* political theater as “justice”
* punishment as a tool of empire
* privilege shaping accountability
* systems expanding beyond their intended targets
And here we are again.
The abuse cycle is still the political cycle:
Honeymoon → “We’ll fix it. We’ll save you.”Tension → “Those people are the problem.”Explosion → punitive policies, culture wars, holiday policingReconciliation → symbolic gestures with no structural repair
Just like an abusive family system.Just like an abusive church system.Just like an abusive empire.
This article still matters because:
* The systems are still intact.
* The cycles are still unexamined.
* The harm is still predictable.
* And people are still leaving systems that never practiced accountability.
Liberation is not linear.It is cyclical too.
Journaling Prompts + Community Questions
On Cycles You Don’t See
* Where have you mistaken a cycle for an isolated event?
* What patterns in politics or faith mirror patterns from your childhood home?
* When have you believed something was “getting better” only because the tension eased?
On Harm, Comfort, and Choice
* How has the “lesser of two evils” story shaped your choices?
* Where have you chosen comfort over transformation?
* What does your body do when you sit with that truth?
On Liberation + Leaving Systems
* What systems have you outgrown?
* What grief accompanied leaving?
* What community care would have made that exit more humane?
Practice Your Praxis (Self • Home • Work)
SELF
Somatic Scan:When you think about politics, holidays, or “good vs evil,” where does your body tighten?Ask: Is this mine, or did someone place it here?
Action:Choose one inherited belief about safety or loyalty.Name who taught it, who it protected, and who it harmed.Release what isn’t yours.
HOME
Relational Repair:Have a gentle conversation:“I’m noticing how our family cycles mirror political cycles. Can we talk about what we want to stop passing down?”
Action:Set one holiday boundary that creates more breath and less harm.
WORK / WORLD
Systems Lens:Identify one area where hierarchy or silence masquerades as safety.
Action:Interrupt one binary this week — a question, a nuance, a refusal.Small shifts are sledgehammers too.
Ways to Journey Deeper
As we move through the work of decolonization here are some tools to take advantage of, and ways to support the movement.
✨ Book Leah’s Arc of Inner KnowingStep into a three-session journey to remember who you are, deepen your alignment, and get resourced for the road ahead.
✨ Friday with Friends on Let’s Have the ConversationIf you want to join me live, go to DesireeBStephens.bio and click Friday with Friendsto sign up. It’s free, it’s intimate, and it’s where a lot of this magic happens in real time.
✨ Table Talk Unpacked A somatic companion for conversations that bristle, border, or break your breath.Navigate gatherings with grounding, scripts for boundaries, and nervous system care not debate rehearsals.➡️ Open the Table Talk
✨ 31 Days of Shadow Work for Liberation (App)
Step into the Season of Descent with 31 guided prompts, somatic practices, and altar invitations for just $11.A sacred container to support your shadow work and liberation journey.➡️ Download the App
✨ Ebook: Dismantling Supremacy Culture (2nd edition)
Understanding and Overcoming Its 15 Pillars — a foundational guide to identify, name, and unlearn the habits of dominance within ourselves and our systems.➡️ Download the Ebook
✨ Support the Work & the Healing Homestead
Partner with me and LadySpeech Sankofa in building the Selenite & Sage Healing Homestead — a sacred initiative to purchase land that will serve as a community healing, education, and retreat space.
Your offerings sustain the vision of land stewardship, communal healing, and intergenerational repair.➡️ Support the Healing Homestead
✨ Direct Offerings of Gratitude
Support my ongoing journey into becoming a PsychoSomatic Practitioner(began September 15th), or simply offer gratitude for the labor and love that goes into this work. Venmo • Cash app • PayPal: SeleniteandSage@gmail.comEvery gesture of reciprocity sustains the work of liberation and care.
✨ Explore More Tools and Resources
From e-books to guided meditations, workshops, and more — explore the growing library of liberation tools.➡️ Visit My Resource Hub
In solidarity and liberation,Desireé B. StephensEducator | Counselor | Community BuilderFounder, Make Shi(f)t HappenWriter of Liberation EducationSteward of Selenite & Sage Healing Homestead Co.Where Reflection Meets Transformation
Just say the word.Thank you Timothy C. Tucker, Taylor McC, Susan, Jennifer Tinker, Tiffany Donnelly, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.
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