There is something happening in the collective nervous system right now — you can feel it.
Institutions are collapsing.Benefits are threatened.People are stretched, grieving, terrified, exhausted, and trying to hold a thousand things at once.
And in moments like these, our bodies revert to what they already know:
* Run.
* Fix.
* Perform.
* Prove.
* Disappear.
* Brace.
Not because you’re weak — but because you survived.
But here’s the truth I named on the live today:
Your nervous system is the first community you ever build.
If that community is unsafe inside of you, every connection outside of you will feel unsafe too.
We are not here to force safety.We are here to remember it.
But you cannot build a liberated future from a body that believes it is always in danger.
This is why we slow down.
Not to ignore the world.Not to bypass reality.Not to pretend we are calm.
We slow down because capacity is infrastructure for movement.
If you burn out, you cannot build anything.If you dissociate, you cannot stay in community.If your body believes discomfort is danger, you cannot be accountable — to yourself or to anyone else.
This is where the real work begins.
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1. If You Cannot Stay With Yourself, You Cannot Stay With Others
When the body goes into defense, collapse, or withdrawal — you are no longer in relationship.You are in survival mode.
And survival mode is anti-community by design.
Because survival mode says:
“I must protect me at all costs.”
That is individualism.That is supremacy culture.That is the wound — not the truth.
Reframe:Your capacity to stay with your own discomfort is what makes community possible.
If the body cannot stay, the community cannot build.
Somatic Reflection (20 seconds):Hand to chest.Whisper:
“May I learn to stay with myself, so I can stay with us.”
The breath doesn’t have to deepen — just soften toward the body.
2. Collapse Is Not Neutral. Collapse Disrupts Connection & Co-Creation.
When accountability enters the room, your nervous system might try to save you by:
* Shutting down
* Going quiet
* Crying in a way that pulls attention to you
* Spiraling into shame
* Saying “I can’t handle this”
* Over-apologizing to avoid repair
This is not “being overwhelmed.”
This is the body trying to re-center itself as the emotional priority, so it does not have to stay with discomfort.
And when that happens:
* The room shifts to soothe you
* Harm goes unaddressed
* Repair is delayed
* Community stalls
Not because you’re bad — but because no one taught you how to stay present through accountability.
Reframe:Collapse is not peace.Collapse is the nervous system trying to escape truth.
Somatic Reflection (30 seconds):Soften the back of your heart.Not the front.Let the shoulders fall into gravity.
Whisper:
“I do not have to run.”
Let the body learn:Discomfort ≠ Danger.
For white-bodied people:This is where leverage lives.This is where fragility becomes interruption instead of collapse.This is where capacity becomes contribution.
3. In These Times, Capacity Is Community Care
We are living through:
wareconomic instabilityecological griefstate violencea rising fascist identity crisisa global burnout of the spirit
This is not a moment where we can afford to emotionally check out.
Community is not optional anymore.
We must practice how to:
* Move through rupture
* Repair after harm
* Stay with each other when it gets real
* Feel our emotions without making them someone else’s responsibility
Reframe:The body work is not self-care.The body work is movement strategy.
If we cannot stay in the room — nothing we are building will last.
Somatic Reflection (45 seconds):Feet flat.Feel the floor.Let your weight be held.
Your body has survived every hard thing you have ever lived.There is resilience here.There is capacity here.We expand it slowly.
Belonging Begins in the Body
Everyone is talking about community right now.
“Find your people.”“We need to come together.”“We need to organize.”
And yes — we do.
But:
You cannot belong in community if you do not belong to yourself.
If your body is still bracing, collapsing, or defending:you will not feel safe around other people.
Not because community is unsafe, but because your nervous system has not learned safety yet.
Belonging is not something we find.Belonging is something we practice in the body.
Rest Is Not the Break From the Work
Rest is not the reward.
Rest is the preparation.
Rest is what allows you to stay.Rest is what allows your body to return.Rest is what allows you to repair instead of collapse.
Rest is the foundation.
Because liberation is not sustained by adrenaline.
Liberation is sustained by regulation.
Somatic Pause (30 Seconds)
Let your shoulders fall by 1%.Not to relax — just to notice.
Whisper to your body:
“I do not have to run. I am safe enough to stay here.”
Check what shifts:your jawyour chestyour breath.
No correction.Just awareness.
This is how safety is learned — one breath longer than before.
Reframe: The Body Work Is Not Self-Care
There is a capitalist version of “self-care” that tells you:
Take a bubble bath.Get a massage.Buy something comforting.
But that is not the work we are doing here.
What we are doing is:
* Nourishing the body so it knows it can stay.
* Asking the nervous system to soften instead of flee.
* Learning how to remain present through discomfort.
* Building the capacity to stay in the room when repair is needed.
Because if we cannot stay, nothing we build will last.Community cannot exist without presence.
Practice Your Praxis
These may feel repetitive and repeat; that is intentional to practice until it becomes praxis.
Self — One Breath Longer
When you feel overwhelmed today, ask:
Am I in danger, or am I uncomfortable?
If you are uncomfortable, place your hand on your sternum and stay for one breath longer than usual.
Not calm.Just present.
That is capacity-building.
Home — Slow One Daily Task
Fold laundry at half-speed.Stir your tea clockwise with intention.Name your pace out loud.
This teaches every body in the house that slowness is safety.
Work — Separate Impact from Identity
When feedback arises, pause.
Say internally:
“This is information, not annihilation.”
Then ask:
What is the impact — separate from my intention?
This is accountability without collapse.
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Closing
We are not here to rush.We are not here to pretend this is easy.
We are not here to perform healing.We are here to practice staying.
One breath longer.One truth deeper.One room together.
You are not doing this alone.We are here to learn how to stay.
You do not have to be perfect.You have to be present.
Come inside.There is room for you here.
In solidarity and liberation,Desireé B. Stephens, CPS-PEducator | Counselor | Community BuilderFounder, Make Shi(f)t HappenWriter of Liberation EducationSteward of Selenite & Sage Healing Homestead Co.Where Reflection Meets Transformation
Thank you Dr. D. Elisabeth Glassco, Susan, Pax Shirley, Jennifer Tinker, Alvin Robinson, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.
