Dear MAGA Parents,I’m reaching out to you in desperation as I have the sneaking suspicion that my teenage children are… I can barely even bring myself to say it—woke.
In elementary and Sunday school everything they were hearing was safely benign: you know, Everyone is equal, God is love—vague enough to add caveats and conditions to; those if’s, and’s, and but’s to make sure they don’t get misled.
The real problems started slowly at first, back when they were in middle school, likely indoctrinated by those overpaid, power-hungry, agenda-driven public school teachers, who dared to fill their heads with accurate American history lessons about slavery, the Civil Rights movement, the fight for women’s equality, and the work toward LGBTQ rights.
They started to come home in the afternoons asking why anyone’s skin color or gender or who they loved, made them inferior to anyone else. They began interrogating their mother and me on what might possibly make someone prejudice toward an entire group of people, based on an inherent and unchanging part of who they are—as if there aren’t completely justifiable reasons. What do you say when your kids ask you that?
Their mother and I should have noticed these obvious liberal red flags, and I suppose we did, though we tried to convince ourselves that we were just overreacting, that surely this was just a phase they would grow out of. I’ve heard some of you suggest praying this kind of thing away? Does that work?
But soon, they were thrust into the COVID “pandemic”, and as they watched so many of their classmates’ parents demanding schools and businesses be reopened, refusing to wear masks and rejecting vaccines, they asked us why these supposed adults were listening to a former C-reality TV show star, talking about injecting bleach and getting out into the sun more—instead of educated doctors and scientists who spent their entire lives preparing for precisely these moments. I distinctly remember our daughter telling us one evening that, “Jamie’s dad says Dr. Fauci is an idiot who knows less about medicine than he does.” Jamie’s dad is a plumber.
This fixation on listening to physicians during a deadly public health crisis was a blaring radical Leftist alarm for sure, but we hoped once things got back to normal it would all “just suddenly disappear.” How naive we were.
Later that year, George Floyd died (or was brutally and unjustly murdered in broad daylight by a sociopathic white police officer—tomato, tomahto). We figured, being white kids they probably wouldn’t mention it, but as the riots (or as Dr. King’s righteous anger of the unheard) came in response, our son, so help me, asked “Why is it so hard for white people to simply say that Black Lives Matter?” Has that been hard for you? How would you have responded to that question?My wife and I looked at one another that day and needed no words.
We both knew what the other was thinking: Our kids—are woke.In the days since, we’ve seen all the telltale signs of terminal radical Leftist wokeness:They don’t believe someone’s gender identity, sexual orientation, romantic relationship, or marriage is anyone else’s business.
They fully advocate for their transgender friends, believing that another human being’s decision to be their most authentic self, doesn’t negatively affect them or anyone else.
They think that someone’s religion is a personal choice, and they respect each person’s individual belief in God (or in no God at all) and don’t think anyone should be forced to abide by another person’s spiritual worldview, and definitely not by the government. (We suspect that annoying U.S. Constitution with its Church and State separation, may be the culprit).
They believe the world is bigger than America, and they respect all cultures and homelands as beautiful and enlightening.
They claim that not everyone was fortunate enough to be born in a place where they feel safe and they want an America with a much bigger table, believing that diversity always makes us better.
They suggest that they were privileged to have arrived on this planet with characteristics that have yielded conditions disproportionately beneficial to them, and they want a nation where people’s physical, social, and economic barriers are removed so that every person has the same chance at life, liberty, and happiness. (The horror!)
They don’t see life as a zero-sum game, where someone else’s gain is automatically their loss, choosing to love their neighbor, not remove, erase, or deport them.They have a working empathy that sees other’s pain, that desires to understand people whose experience of America or religion or law enforcement has been different from their own.
In other words, they actually give a s**t about other people.Whew, I know I’ve thrown a lot at you, but I know these are all things you’ve had experience squelching, inhibiting, or downright destroying in your kids, which is explains your political choices and religious affiliations.
And I just wanted to know how you’ve done it.How have you stayed so anti-woke, and how have you managed to make anti-woke children?We really need to get to the bottom of this.
Can you imagine if all our children started loving their neighbors and working together and caring for one another?
I mean, if all our children went woke—what kind of nation we might have, then?
(In case it is lost on anyone, the following has been satire.)
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