This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear the full conversation, visit keelysemler.substack.com.
If you know a girl coming of age right now, this is a critical conversation to listen to.
This week’s guest is Brook Urick, a former publicist and sugar baby at the controversial dating website Seeking Arrangement (now Seeking) and author of the memoir Wink, wink, nudge, nudge: sexual exploits and secrets from inside a sugar daddy website.
Seeking Arrangement intentionally branded itself as a sugar dating platform, promoting the illusion of empowered, mutually beneficial relationships. But behind the gloss of luxury lies a troubling history: the site has been repeatedly cited in reports of sex trafficking, coercion, and the exploitation of minors.
In this episode, Brook pulls back the curtain on the transactional nature of modern intimacy where desire is monetized, and consent becomes a performance shaped by power, money, and survival.
We explore the blurred lines of emotional labor, complicity, and the cultural script that tells women they can trade vulnerability for validation. Brook shares personal experiences from her years as a sugar baby and insider in the industry; stories that illuminate the cost of being seen as desirable yet disposable.
This episode is a powerful listen for anyone interested in thinking about modern dating, sexual agency and the commodification of connection within our culture. Especially if you know a teenage girl or young woman navigating her sense of worth in today’s culture, this conversation is essential.
Together, we ask the questions our culture is too afraid to ask,
Can intimacy be authentic when it's bought?
What does it mean to say “yes” when your “no” won’t be heard?
Where does empowerment end and exploitation begin?
Dow does capitalism shape our most personal relationships?
The final 15-30 minutes of this interview are available in our extended episode, exclusively for Behind Closed Doors subscribers. This is a slower, more intimate space where guests speak with honesty, vulnerability, and courage about the layers that often go unseen.
Paid subscribers also receive bonus content, including my personal reflections as a women’s health educator, mentor, and doula. If you value thoughtful dialogue and honest storytelling that rarely makes it into mainstream conversations, I invite you to join us at keelysemler.substack.com.
Your subscription supports the heart of this work, covering the costs of production, editing, and helping sustain meaningful, independent content for a growing community.
6:06 Seeking Arrangements and their history of illegality
7:53 What are sugar babies and sugar daddies?
9:55 Sex trafficking
15:39 What are sugar daddies seeking?
18:02 Why do sugar babies join?
20:16 The perils of internet residue
21:55 Book excerpts: income, consent, and how those in power protect abusers
28:47 The construction of “data” and “analytics” for company gain and publicity
37:25 Can the commodification of intimacy ever be ethical?
39:39 Intimacy, love, pleasure, and sex: the gender differences
41:37 How technology, work, and casual sex come in the way of pleasure, fertility, and intimacy
46:01 We have all been lied to by the hierarchy
49:08 The end of the age of celebrity
55:41 Representation of sex work in media
57:56 OnlyFans and sex content creation
1:02:32 Associating after the dissociation caused by sex work
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