Most people wait for someday: that magical moment when it’ll finally feel safe to start living the life they actually want.But what happens when “someday” almost never comes?
In this raw and illuminating conversation, J. Lumen shares how surviving an attempted murder by her ex became the wake-up call that changed everything. What started as trauma became transformation and a new lens on fear, freedom, and the quiet courage to live without regret.
Together we explore:
* The illusion of safety and how “adulting” can trap us in tolerated misery
* How micro-shifts create massive change over time
* Redefining fear as Fun, Excitement, And Rules
* The power of collecting “mini-moments” to rebuild confidence and momentum
* Why you don’t need to burn it all down to start living aligned
* The secret to living a life you’ll never need to escape from
This one’s not about bucket lists, it’s about living your life as the list.
Key Moments
00:00 – The night that changed everything06:40 – Why “someday” is the most dangerous word you know12:15 – The autopilot trap: guilt, judgment, and the illusion of responsibility20:30 – Boots on the ground: why movement reveals what maps can’t28:05 – The micro-shift method (and how to pivot without blowing up your life)34:50 – Collecting “mini moments” that rebuild self-trust45:00 – How to say “no” without guilt: reclaiming energetic boundaries52:40 – Redefining FEAR: Fun, Excitement, and Rules1:02:00 – The Mississippi metaphor: walking across life differently1:04:30 – Closing reflections: If you’re still breathing, you’re not done
Reflection Prompts
* What part of your life are you tolerating out of guilt or habit?
* What’s one micro-shift you could make this week toward the life you actually want?
* When was the last time you gave yourself credit for a small, courageous act?
* If you removed the word someday from your vocabulary, what would you start doing today?
Action Step
Start your own Unknown Bucket List:
* Revisit your core values: what genuinely brings you joy?
* List ten micro-moments where you showed courage or adaptability.
* Redefine fear using J.’s model: Fun. Excitement. And Rules.
* Choose one micro-shift this week: something you’ll thank yourself for later.
Connect with J. Lumen
* Website: theunknownbucketlist.com
* Free Self-Assessment: resume your life (.com) (“Resume” as in “continue,” not your job CV.)
* Instagram / Facebook / TikTok: @theunknownbucketlist
Connect with Shawn Michael
* Substack: True North
* Podcast: Daily Power Boost
* Coaching: R.E.A.L. Mastery™ Identity Reframe Intensive
* Instagram / TikTok / YouTube: @coachshawnmichael
* Book your No-cost Identity Clarity Call to explore what’s keeping you from living your aligned life.
If Today’s Episode Sparked Something
* Forward this to someone who’s still waiting for “someday.”
* Subscribe to Daily Power Boost for identity-driven insights each week.
* Join the R.E.A.L. Mastery Hub for live coaching, tools, and community.
* Message Shawn to apply for Beyond the Boost live coaching episodes.
