The One Big Beautiful Boondoggle: How the GOP Just Gaslit Itself
Welcome to Episode 5 of Civics Unhinged — the political podcast where satire meets serious intent. Today’s episode? A field report from the financial war zone known as Capitol Hill, where Trump’s “One Big Beautiful Bill” is anything but.
It was 1,037 pages of red, white, and what-the-hell-just-happened.
At sunrise, on May 22, Republicans fist-bumped each other across the House floor like gladiators who’d survived a night of legislative bloodletting. Their self-congratulatory victory lap followed passage of what they dubbed the ONE BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL— a sweeping mashup of tax slashing, climate smashing, and regulatory gagging, passed by one vote after an all-nighter that would make frat boys blush.
And just like frat boys after spring break, regret followed fast.
Now that they’re home from the Hill, some House Republicans stumbled back into town with a sheepish “I didn’t know that was in there” look. Apparently, buried inside their Very Important Bill were provisions so stunning, even Marjorie Taylor Greene, known for concocting conspiracy theories about Jewish space lasers, missed them.
Greene now says she would’ve voted no had she realized the bill blocked states from regulating artificial intelligence for a decade. That’s right: the party of “states’ rights” forgot they were supposedly for states’ rights. “Full transparency,” she tweeted, “I did not know about this section.”
Let’s pause here for a moment.
This bill wasn’t a stray paragraph in a minor resolution. This was Trump’s flagship legislation — a blueprint for his second-term domestic vision: deregulate the planet, fund billionaires, toss a few coins toward defense, and call it governance.
And it was passed without being read.
Mike Flood of Nebraska also admitted he didn’t know the bill weakened judges’ powers to enforce court orders, a curious blind spot, especially since the provision could directly shield Trump and his allies from legal accountability. OOPS!
What’s astonishing isn’t just the content of the bill, though we’ll get to that, but the ritual confession now that played out: GOP lawmakers publicly admitting they voted for something they didn’t understand, didn’t read, or didn’t question.
As a former legislative staffer in both the Senate and House, let me assure the Members read it. They just didn’t hesitate to vote for it, especially since Trump was watching.
They were regret-free until Elon Musk opened his mouth.
When the Billionaire Throws the First Tomato
Days after the vote, Musk — Trump’s former czar of Government (In)Efficiency, who’s now back to full-time outrage tweeting — torched the bill as “a disgusting abomination” and “pork-filled idiocy.” That’s when the remorse parade began. Because nothing sparks courage among modern Republicans quite like Elon’s disapproval.
It was suddenly open season on buyer’s remorse. Andy Ogles called for “MASSIVE improvements” in the Senate. Senator Rand Paul demanded that $5 trillion in debt be “removed” from the bill. Which, frankly, is like trying to unbake a cake after feeding it to the dog.
Yet, these very same Republicans cheered the bill when it passed.
So, what’s in This One Big Beautiful Boondoggle?
I’m glad you asked!
According to the Congressional Budget Office, the bill:
* Adds $2.4 trillion to the national debt over 10 years
* Delivers $3.75 trillion in tax cuts, mostly for the wealthy
* Increases defense & border spending
* Erases Biden-era climate reforms
* Blocks states from regulating AI, and
* Undermines judicial enforcement of court orders
It is, in short, Paul Ryan’s wet dream meets a Steve Bannon fever swamp — all wrapped in a bill so complex, so opaque, and so rushed that lawmakers were given just eight overnight hours to read it. But of course, nearly every Republican voted yes — because when Trump says “jump,” they just ask “how high?”
And while GOP loyalists were pretending to be shocked by the bill’s content, Trumpworld was already doing damage control. Stephen Miller claimed the tax cuts “have zero deficit impact” and accused the CBO of bias. Never mind that, during Trump’s first term, $8.4 trillion was added to the national debt, with $3.6 trillion in COVID aid included.
The Real Joke — and It’s on the Voters
Let’s be clear: no member of Congress is confused about what they voted for. These provisions weren’t snuck in by legislative elves. They were negotiated, included, and intended — just hidden under the cover of Trumpist obedience and legislative theater.
This is a party that treats policymaking like a reality show finale. Last-minute script rewrites, staged drama, then a forced smile for the camera. The One Big Beautiful Bill wasn’t designed to be used as a vehicle for governance. It was designed to be a campaign tool — with Trump and his surrogates waving it like a prop while voters are stuck paying the bill, literally and figuratively.
And now? They want you to believe that Elon Musk has higher fiscal standards than the U.S. Congress.
Here’s A Final Thought:
Marjorie Taylor Greene said it best, accidentally: “It’s hard to read over 1,000 pages when things keep changing up to the last minute.” No kidding. That’s why real legislators take their job seriously.
But when your governing philosophy is “do what Trump wants and check Twitter/X or Truth Social later,” don’t act surprised when you find yourself defending your vote for a bill you didn’t understand, that boosts a deficit you used to condemn, and following a man who thinks policy lives on napkins and hashtags.
This wasn’t a legislative accident. It was a con — a Big Beautiful One — and every Republican who voted for it should be made to read all 1,037 pages aloud, with Elon Musk fact-checking in the margins.
Welcome to Trump’s Big Top Circus. THIS is how Washington policymaking in the Trump-era became a three-ring circus.
That’s it for this week’s episode of Civics Unhinged. New episodes drop every Tuesday, with essays and full transcripts available on Substack.
If this made you laugh, rage, or even just sigh in despair, share it. Post it. And let the people who voted for this disaster know: we’re watching. Closely.
Until next time, remember: You can’t drain the swamp when you’re selling it by the square foot.
I’m Dunneagin. Thanks for listening. KEEP THE FAITH!
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“And if you’d like even more, grab my satirical eBooks:
📕 Trump’s Big Top: How Politics Became a 3-Ring Circus
📕 The Liar’s Guide to Autocracy
