Cultivating Empathy
In a world that tries to drain it out of you
In this reading of my weekly, Stable Roots, essay, I explore what empathy actually is — and what it isn’t.
We hear the word constantly. It’s praised, politicized, misused, and often confused with emotional intensity or moral agreement. But empathy, practiced well, is deeper and more complex than that. It isn’t about absorbing everything or proving how deeply we feel. It’s about listening carefully enough to receive another person’s experience without overtaking it.
Through stories of caregiving, frozen pipes, horses, projection, and grief, this piece traces the difference between empathy and assumption — between standing beside someone and bracing against them. It looks at how unchecked empathy can turn defensive, how misdirected responsibility leads to burnout, and why boundaries are not the opposite of care.
At its core, this is an exploration of listening. Of what it means to be accurately received. Of how warmth, when applied patiently and in the right place, allows what’s frozen to move again.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the demand to care about everything at once, or if you’ve ever mistaken reaction for connection, or if you’re learning how to stay soft without losing yourself -- you might find something useful in this piece.
Love, Kim
