Light last purple candle - The Love Candle
I was crying loudly by the time I opened the door of my house and ran into my mother’s open arms. I was 6-years-old, in first grade at Bells Ferry Elementary School in Marietta, Georgia. I rode the big yellow bus back and forth to school and had a long walk up our street from our house to the bus stop. The first couple of days, my mom and little brother walked me to and from the bus, but I quickly told Mama that I could do it myself and didn’t need her to walk me back and forth.
Why was I crying? It was 1972 and my name was Gay. I had always been told by my parents that my name meant “happy” and “joyful.” I loved my name, as no one else in my community was named Gay. I felt special and unique. But that day on the bus ride home, some 5th grade boys started laughing loudly and asking me if I was gay. Of course, I thought they were asking if my name was Gay and I said “yes.” They all cackled and began to chant, “She’s gay! She admits it! She’s gay!” While I had no idea what they meant, I knew they were being unkind. But why would they act like that?
My mother had to explain to her 6-year-old that my name didn’t only mean “joyful and happy” but also when two men love each other like married people. I’d never heard of that preference before and asked, “If you knew that it meant that, why did you name me Gay?” Mama explained that she and my dad didn’t realize that it had another meaning until recently and had hoped it wouldn’t impact me. The fact was they had named me after the professional golfer, Gay Brewer, and had high hopes that I would excel in the sport too. Mama suggested that I begin to go by my middle name, Haley, but that wouldn’t do. There was another girl in my class named Haley who was mean and I assumed if my name was Haley people would think I was mean, too. Honestly, it was logical, since people were saying I was gay just because that was my name. Why couldn’t my name be Julie, the most popular baby girl name in 1966!
So I kept the name Gay. I learned to introduce myself by saying, “My name is Gay,” rather than “I’m Gay” to avoid confusion or further questions. When baristas ask me for a name for my order, I say Brown so as not to draw unneeded attention to myself. I wouldn’t want one of my grandchildren named after me, but I am glad that it is my name. It suits me and has helped make me the woman I am today.
In today’s reading, we hear an angel speak to Joseph in a dream, “Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” (Matt 1:20-21)
* Read Matthew 1:18-25; 2:13-23
I almost entitled this devotion “Another Dreamer Named Joseph.” It doesn’t appear that Mary’s Joseph had experienced God speaking to him through his dreams before, but one of his ancestors by the same name certainly had the gift of dreams and interpretations. The beloved firstborn son of Jacob and Rachel, Joseph began having fantastical dreams that infuriated his brothers as early as his teen years. He grew to trust the dreams God gave him and the ability to interpret others’ dreams as well.
So Joseph finds himself brokenhearted when he discovers that his betrothed wife, Mary, was pregnant with another man’s baby. Betrothed partners were referred to as “husband and wife”, though they were not yet considered to be married, and having sexual relations during that period was considered immoral, both together or with others. Sexual unfaithfulness during betrothal was considered adultery, and under the Mosaic law carried the penalty of death by stoning. While Mary had never given Joseph reason to believe her capable of deceit or adultery, it seemed that she was. He truly loved her though, and having agonized over the options available to him, he determined to divorce her quietly rather than publicly shame, much less stone her.
That night, God’s angel came to Joseph in a vivid dream and validated all that the angel Gabriel had told Mary months earlier. He was to confidently take Mary as his wife and name the baby Jesus. The name Jesus (Heb. Yeshua) meaning “Yahweh saves” or “The LORD is salvation” was a popular name given to Jewish sons as a symbol of hope for the Lord’s promised salvation through the Messiah who would purify his people and save them from oppression. But the angel points to a more important theme and fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy: “to save his people from their sins.” (Matt 1:21)
“‘Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
See, the virgin will become pregnantand give birth to a son,and they will name him Immanuel,
which is translated “God is with us.”
When Joseph woke up, he did as the Lord’s angel had commanded him. He married herbut did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to a son. And he named him Jesus.” (Matt 1:22-25)
Despite his misgivings, Joseph then obeyed the angel’s command and took Mary as his wife into his home. The time of formal engagement, whether a full year or not, had passed between them. So Joseph and Mary began to live together except for sexual relations. I believe we can therefore conclude that Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem for the census as full husband and wife under ancient Jewish law. When the time came for Mary to give birth, her husband Joseph was her birthing coach and midwife, delivering a baby who was not his own but his Savior and Messiah over whom he had been given full responsibility to care for and protect. “When the eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus—the name given by the angel before he was conceived.” (Luke 2:21)
* Listen to/Sing Behold (with O Holy Night) [A Christmas Moment] (see page 84 for lyrics)
* Reflect
* Joseph would receive several more instructions from the Lord through dreams over the next few years. These subsequent dreams would need to be immediately obeyed by Joseph, in order to keep Mary and young Jesus safe. Why do you think he was able to so quickly trust and obey the Lord God’s commands?
* How about you? Are you quick to obey when the Holy Spirit impresses you to take action?
* Pray and thank the Lord for Joseph’s beautiful example of righteousness and selflessness. Ask God to help you cultivate that type of character.
