“Life is the balance between holding on and letting go.”— Rumi
I felt it important to respond to a journalist who asked what people might expect at their first therapy session. Many come to me who are ambivalent about beginning therapy, and I’ve been to a few therapists myself.
I’ve not felt good about these first sessions with other therapists. A good therapist is wise but ignorant, and makes no attempt to hide it. No therapist is an expert because no two clients are the same.
An honest therapist knows as little about what to expect as you do. When I make my ignorance clear, everything goes beautifully because it’s you who guides me. I’ve never met a therapist as comfortable with their ignorance as I.
The journalist’s seven questions concern protocol, method, and service, but this is not what therapy is about. If you’re inviting someone to “therapise” you, you’ve lost your way at the start. No one is going to figure or straighten you out. You do this yourself, or else it doesn’t happen.