Description

Sometimes are egos get out of whack, but not the way you might imagine. We may allow others to strong-arm or step on us (like a doormat), because our egos are not strong enough. Ego, according to some explanations, depicts arrogance, someone thinking of themselves first and not being considerate of others. But in Eastern philosophy, the ego may also be seen as something that helps us get along in our sometimes-cruel world.

Psychologists will tell you that the ego points to someone’s self-esteem, self-importance, and self-worth, it’s the way we look at ourselves and our strengths, but also our weaknesses. It’s our worldview. The ego also separates us from the outside world, the part of us that makes up our values, our beliefs, and our thoughts and experiences shaping our individual identity.

A weak ego may lead someone to do something someone with a strong ego would never even consider. It allows people to move through the world effectively. It’s our boundaries and brings forward our “representative” side. I read a book a few years back where the author referred to her stronger side, as the representative. She was so removed from her ego, that her subconscious took over and was her only salvo in conversation with those she deemed stronger.

Someone with a strong ego is not necessarily full of themselves, they are people who feel emboldened to advocate for themselves and theoretically let things roll off their backs. A strong ego also fires folks up with determination and grit and can be seen as a learning experience and a way on from our mistakes.

Someone with an unhealthy ego, may just be insecure, or fearful or indecisive. They might argue, may be stubborn and can resist innovation and personal growth. Maybe they’re the opposite of someone with a healthy ego who has been on the receiving end of positive feedback at home or at work. The healthier ego feels seen and heard and prepared to pursue their dreams, while the inflated ego is desperate to be seen and may be labeled a narcissist, or self-centered which can wreak havoc on relationships and straight up slows personal growth. They are also defensive and closed off to learning more about themselves which might stifle opportunities.

If the weak ego’s is in a relationship, it might be impossible to hear some else’s perspective and layer on a lack of empathy which can lead to a need to be right all the time. Where the healthier ego wants to know how to improve and welcomes constructive feedback.

Flip the coin entirely and see the ego as an illusion separating us from ourselves and others. The real work is to find ways to diminish ego overwhelm, or there will be continued suffering.