First, I want to state that I immediately want to qualify this post to convince you that I’m down to earth, humble, and flawed. BUT WHY? As a femme of color, that conditioning is so strong. I know for a fact that white men do not think like this! So instead of using this first paragraph to not seem arrogant, I’m going to jump straight into it.
There’s this great quote from Prentis Hemphill from Holding Change by adrienne maree brown: “Perfection is a commitment to habitual self-doubt.”
I was born to shine like the August sun - like a child playing without a care in the world. When I used to nanny, one of my favorite things to witness is my toddler singing at the top of her lungs in the grocery store or on a walk. It’s not like she doesn’t know there are people around. She is just overflowing with joy and creativity. There is no semblance of embarrassment or overthought of how she’s perceived. In that moment of song, it’s the most natural thing to have ever happened.
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On tiktok, there’s this discourse about how creating art is not taking it too seriously while taking it very seriously. It’s knowing that the art is vulnerable and valuable, but then not taking it too seriously when releasing it to the world. That stuck with me, because that’s what kids do in their play.
Kids aren’t thinking about their ego or other people’s perceptions, but they inherently function from a place of value and integrity.
As a Leo, I always remind myself to create from that place. I don’t spend much time in planning or thinking about impact, because I know when I communicate/create from an authentic place (ew I hate that word for some reason…I’ll unpack that later), that is good enough. Healing from perfectionism has been central in my development as a 30 something year old. I have learned that doing is always a better investment than planning. Oh boy do I love to plan - my 2 stelliums in virgo and capricorn are nodding their heads.
Here are a three lessons in how I am cultivating my voice (my pov) and my confidence (in putting myself and my work out there):
* I know my WHY.
* So basic, but I always return to why I use my creative expression whether it’s painting, writing, performing, making video content, etc.
* My WHY is based on the assumption that the closer I am to my true self, my integrity, and my community, the more I will embody my existential destiny of being part of our liberatory movement. Therefore, my soul will be fulfilled. Something like that!
* It doesn’t bother me if my work doesn’t reach a lot of people or if it impacts them in a certain way.
* My responsibility isn’t to dictate what happens when I release my work.
* As long as I am reducing harm, it isn’t up to me how my work or how I am being perceived.
* This piece takes time and repetition to develop.
* I trust myself and the people who are drawn to my work/art
* I release control in who resonates with me, because I have proven to myself that folks who are aligned will somehow find their way.
* If visibility is low, I still used my creative expression in a way that deepened my embodiment - that’s a beautiful thing.
Right now, I’m doing a creative personal challenge where I make long form videos on Tiktok. Every day, I talk for 10 minutes about one topic with the goal of healing from perfectionism and also building the skill of being more succinct while following my stream of consciousness. I think I’ve done 11 days so far, and it’s really fun. The views are LOW - so that has given me mental freedom to really go for it. I also find it fun to feel anonymous in the sea of content. I know what the goal is, and it’s fulfilling to track my personal growth.
I want to share my thoughts about following what comes easy. Maybe I’ll write about it tomorrow!
What does Liberatory Imagination spark in me today?
Repetition. The courage to try things over and over again. Learning. Observing. Shifting. I have always chosen to create and release. It takes openness to imagine something new under the same rhythms of vulnerability.
(Below is a photo of me, a Leo, in the sun while I was in Mexico!)
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