I just attended this webinar featuring Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes, and I’m still buzzing from feeling so heart full from it. It was exactly what I needed tonight.
So many juicy things that came up! But first, I want to report about coming down from my 2-3 weeks of non stop direct actions, meetings, and high energy activity. The PMS has set in, the depression is creeping up, the body exhaustion is here. As I promised, I am flowing with it! I’m so proud of myself. I canceled multiple things. Today! I woke up late, stayed up for a few hours and napped very hard for awhile. I could feel that if I didn’t do that, I would get sick. After doing some work, I made myself a delicious and nutritious meal! In this exactly moment, I feel steady. Not taking it for granted.
Tiffany’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Both Mariame and Kelly spoke so beautifully and honestly about hope. Mariame talked about this Islamic teaching that says, “If the Resurrection were established upon one of you while he has in his hand a sapling, then let him plant it.” Even in the end of days, which feels like is here, hope for what is possible can drive us to plant that tree like it could have a future. That’s the hope that is rooted in the discipline that things can be different. Kelly talked about how hope can be scary. It’s so much easier to be pessimistic and not ever be surprised as things become shittier. The work is growing the capacity for the unknown.
Someone asked Mariame to expand on what she said about fatalism being dishonest. She replied by saying that fatalism is dishonest, because it assumes that you know the future. Mixed in with pessimism - it’s the arrogance of thinking YOU know how things will inevitably turn out. She said it’s self indulgent and absolves that person from being part of the change for good. Feeling despair is natural, but that feeling can coexist with the action of hope.
As I’m digesting the webinar, which I cannot wait to watch again, I can feel how my general capacity for the unknown has expanded a millimeter. I feel a little more confident that the small and more drastic things that I do count. I can feel how my capacity to be around humans and working along side HUMANS is just a little bigger. The difference this round is that I’m in more consent with what I’m signing up for every day. Not romanticizing people. Not conflating certain acts of activism as superior. Not expecting people to act in accordance of MY standards. I hold myself accountable, and I observe people with the grace that is earned.
All I know is that it is an honor to apply myself for liberation. I have and will always give my life to it, and the simple question is: What does that look like today?
I feel excited to continue to witness the slow growth of my capacity and confidence. Just a week or so ago, I wrote about how shaky my confidence about my role in liberation was. Things are always changing. I’m sure my capacity and confidence will inevitably ebb and flow, but over all - I know it will expand. I come back to to this over and over and over again. My efforts for a Free Palestine is connected to Sudan. My efforts for a Free Congo is connected to Haiti. My efforts in Chicago is connected to Hawaii. My efforts for a stranger turned friend is connected to me. It is all connected whether I can trace it or not. My faith is growing for what I cannot see.
Something else Mariame said that struck me was that this journey is like a marathon AND a relay race. Sometimes we have to pull back and take care of ourselves. When we do, we pass on the baton. So making abolition and collective liberation irresistible is so important! We need people to cross over and join us. Right now is an invitation when genocides are in our faces every day. Being part of the revolution needs to have a low entry level. Anybody can be part of it. This convicts me to not fall for a supremest and elitist way of being a performative leftist. How can I make liberation more irresistible for a neighbor? I don’t really know, because from my experience - people who have deeply engrained harmful beliefs find me insufferable haha. I’ll keep you posted on that.
I’m preparing for my Liberatory Imagination Workshop coming up this saturday (if you’re in the area, please join me). When I was in the shower today, I was filled with such gratitude. While the workshop is happening, a protest at the Logan Square Theatre is happening (if you’re in the area, you should go.) Even though I wish I could be at that protest, I’m so happy that there’s space to take care of ourselves and demand for justice with our bodies + voices.
What does Liberatory Imagination spark in me today?
Imagining a world that is actually possible. Working towards a world that is actually attainable. Staying focused on that world whether I may see it in my lifetime or not. That world is so beautiful that it deeply deeply scares me, and my courage to approach it is growing.
Tiffany’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
