Shopping at a local general store yesterday, I unloaded my odd and sundry onto the counter behind an elderly lady who appeared a little confused and a teensy bit annoyed as a result. She was purchasing some kind of small appliance in a 12” square box and had a vague issue with the advertised price, which she eventually, but grudgingly, paid. It wasn’t an inordinate wait and voices were not raised.
After paying for my own purchases, I headed to my car in the parking lot out front. Now, mine is a small town and the parking lot is not exactly massive. On this day it wasn’t even full to bursting; not like it will be on the morning of Valentine’s Day for the last minute scramble for bath bombs, perfume and chocolates.
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As I was pulling out of my spot, I noticed the same lady, purchase clutched against her chest, wandering slowly through the lot and swiveling her head to and fro, surveying the general scene. It occurred to me that she had either forgotten where she parked her car or was looking for someone who she was expecting to pick her up and drive her home.
I don’t know how this would look in your hometown but it was entirely natural for me to drive alongside her, roll down the window and ask if she needed help. As I was formulating the best way to say this without sounding patronizing or implying she was demented, another local shopper pulled out in front of me, stopped next to her and engaged in conversation. Naturally I couldn’t hear it but the gesticulating and smiling gave me to understand the lady in question was not lost and was, indeed, looking for a specific someone to come fetch her.
Was I disappointed that I wasn’t the good Samaritan? Yes, kinda. In my experience the act of offering assistance, paying a compliment, even holding a door or carrying a parcel for a stranger pays off for both parties, arguably even more for the helper than for the helped. So I missed that perk to my day but, as I drove away, I felt myself begin to bask in the glow of other people’s kindness and consideration. It was inspiring to witness other humans noticing apparent distress and stepping up, unasked, to help.
One of my clients, in a public speaking workshop, was speaking to the federal temporary foreign worker program, which is self-explanatory. In her case the industry wasn’t health care or agriculture but rather QSR, the quick serve restaurant sector. She described a group of young people who had come to Canada under the program, from a hot and humid climate, but found themselves in northern Alberta, temperature -22 C. (That’s -7.6 Farenheit for those who celebrate.)
One particularly cold night, knowing the new crew was closing the restaurant, had no car and insufficient winter clothing, the restaurant manager warmed up his car and drove to the restaurant to ensure the unacclimatized staff got home safely. As he drove around the shoulder high snow banks ploughed off the parking lot his headlights picked up a group of people and cars with their exhaust rising into the cold, clear night sky. His day shift, of local Albertans, had already anticipated the need, and showed up to shepherd the new kids home.
I believe I choked up when I first heard the story and, when I tell it to other speaker clients, it never fails to throw a lump into my throat.
My sweetheart once pulled over to help a frail older woman, with a walker, who had toppled over on the sidewalk. She was confused and simply wanted to go home but didn’t remember her address so, on her directions to turn right, slow down, not this street, try again, he bore with grace and patience. Finally, when it became apparent she was not going to be able to find her house, he asked if he could look in her purse for an address or some identification.
Sadly there was no wallet nor ID but there was a scrap of paper containing a phone number so he called it and reached the woman’s son-in-law who confirmed that she no longer lived in her house but rather in a senior’s home nearby which had not yet realized she was missing.
Mystery solved, everything sorted, and it makes me appreciate the lengths to which we will sometimes go to help random strangers. On the other hand, we can almost always make someone’s day with a sincere, non-creepy compliment, a bonding question or comment, or simply a genuine smile.
Somehow it’s simple to be randomly kind to strangers; at the same time we must remind those near and dear to us that we will always be there if they need us. And mean it.
Like Christine Ellen Hynde who is definitely there when you need her.
Until next time, and the times after that, I am here for you.
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