Listen now | Finding internal validation with a quote from Confucius on why it matters most
Hello and happy Mid-Week my friends. Coach Kate here with another episode of Minute Explorations. This daily morning space is for exploring ideas, quotes and more together to help get your day started. If that sounds like something you'd love-- feel free to follow me and join in on these explorations together with me.
Today we are going to talk about validation-- not the external kind that comes from others, but that kind that comes from within that we can rely on for ourselves. So much of validation is centered around others and their thoughts, perceptions, and even ideas of us-- and you know what? We can't control ANY of that-- so if we rely on only others for validation, we'll feel an endless loop of powerlessness too. Today's Quote is from Confucius-- also known as Kong Chi -- or Master Kong, who was a Chinese philosopher and advocate for knowledge and education in ancient China. One of the cornerstones of Confucius's teachings was the ideas around study and self-education. He was well known throughout China through the 550-400's BCE for his writings, and philosophies around life and family too. Here is his quote on validation:
“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”― Confucius
What Confucius reveals to us, is that our biggest and greatest potential comes not from others, but that internal self-work. It can feel sooo easy-- too easy-- to put the work (and the reward) of feeling and being validated on others. So how do you validate yourself?
To create a system of self-validation, you must first know what things make you proud. So do a proud invetory-- what do you admire and respect in others? And then internalize it: what do you admire and respect about yourself. The answers, at least the meaningful ones, are always goign to be found from within, and the finest work you can do, is always going to be the work you can do for yourself. If you're having trouble finding what you admire and respect in yourself, that's just a clue that you need to tap into some of those big questions to find what things you can start doing for you, to build up those answers over time.
Self-work isn't the easiest work, oftentimes it's takes a lifetime to know, understand, and even love ourselves-- but it is the most important relationship you'll ever carry, so carry it well and with love.
I'm Coach Kate. Thank you for listening today. If you liked what you heard and want to follow along our morning explorations, give me a follow. I host this space every weekday morning and dive into all sorts of ideas and thoughts with you all.
Thanks again for listening, and I hope you all enjoy the journey within today.
