In our last two episodes, we spoke with Dr. Carol Gilligan and Dr. Niobe Way, whose forty years of research show how society’s gender expectations of being “good girls” and “strong boys” are creating a crisis of connection that’s costing all of us. So what do we do when we recognize so many of us are trapped by society’s gender expectations that were never ours to begin with?
[0:02] Evie and Chelle open the episode and share the gender expectations they’re shaking off.[1:34] Chelle recaps Dr. Carol Gilligan and Dr. Niobe Way’s research on how “good girl” and “strong boy” expectations create a crisis of connection.[4:06] Chelle explains how boys’ emotional intelligence shifts between ages 4–7, while girls begin losing their voices around age 11.[7:52] Chelle and Evie reflect on how these patterns fuel loneliness and emotional disconnection.[10:09] Chelle introduces Tool #1: Stay With Me, a grounding practice to stay connected to your wiser self.[15:36] Evie shares Tool #2: Spot the Cage, showing how to recognize and step out of “us vs. them” thinking.[22:30] Chelle introduces Tool #3: The Consequence Continuum, explaining how to balance compassion with accountability.[31:22] Evie reflects on how curiosity and conversation create connection.[34:18] Chelle summarizes the three tools — Stay With Me, Spot the Cage, and the Consequence Continuum.[37:12] Evie and Chelle close the episode, inviting listeners to keep practicing curiosity and compassion.
