This post has been updated! You can read the latest version here on tashdoherty.com.
Introduction
“How did your Spanish get so good?” a well-meaning gringa (American) asks me, gaping. She’s been in Roma Norte for six months, trying to improve her Spanish by taking classes. Unsurprisingly, that wasn’t going well for her.
“It’s a long story,” I shrug. My last four and a half years of romantic date spots and spontaneous hookups flash before my eyes. I remember all the Mexican men who patiently listened to me during my broken-fluency phase, probably because they wanted to get into my underwear. “I’ve found that dating in Spanish helps a lot.”
“Huh,” she says, pulling out her phone as if taking serious notes. Be promiscuous. Sleep around.
“Once people started complimenting me on my speaking and my ego got involved, that’s when I really started perfecting it. It’s nice to impress people, you know? But let’s be real,” I said, leaning in closer. “There’s a lot of words they’re not going to teach you in Spanish class.”
“Really?” she said, looking extra perplexed. “Like what?”
I paraphrased this list of flirty terms for her, and I’m about to share them with you. This list is not comprehensive at all; it’s organic and random, much like the way you learn a language naturally by “coqueteando y cogiendo” (flirting and f*****g) in the day-to-day. Immersion isn’t linear, and neither is fluency. Still, I hope you enjoy these silly, dirty phrases and the honest, embarrassing stories behind how I learned them.
What dirty phrases do you know in Spanish? What’s the story behind how you learned them? Share them in the comments!
Cringey Mexican Spanish Phrases I’ve Learned
1. ¿Te gustan las nalgadas?” 🫱
It was April 2022, and I had just arrived in Mexico City. In my first two weeks, I was already exploring the Barista Man’s body (you know, the one I give the highest praise for eating me out). I had just moved into an apartment in Roma Norte with a lovely gay man and a lovely bisexual man.
A couple of days after I moved in, my housemate, Sebastian, said to me,
“¿Te gustan las nalgadas?”
I looked at him, confused. My Spanish at the time wasn’t very good, and it was almost impossible to understand him in his thick, “Chihuahuense” (person from Chihuahua) accent.
“Tú sabes,” he said, raising his eyebrows, “Nal-gad-as.”
He made a kind of hitting (spanking) gesture.
“Oh!” I cried, laughing awkwardly and blushing, “Nal-gad-as. Sí, I guess.”
That’s when I remembered something: this two-bedroom apartment had been split into three, and Sebastian had a flimsy curtain for a door. The walls were thin, and I’d really made no effort to keep the volume down. Yikes.
Official Tash Translation: “¿Te gustan las nalgadas?” = “Do you like to be spanked?”
Cringe Learning Level: 8/10. It would have been 10/10, but I was too proud and newly falling in love with Barista Man to care.
Cum again? 💦
2. “Eres bien sabrosa.” 👅
This was one of the first dirty things Barista Man said to me. With his head between my legs, telling me I am so tasty, he somehow stroked my ego and my clit at the same time. There’s something particularly hot about someone professional, who tastes things for a living, telling you that you’re yummy as hell.
I replied,
“¿Tenías hambre?”
As you know from my BDSM test results, I love being a brat, feigning power before I relinquish all control and descend into blissful chaos. I didn’t speak very good Spanish at the time, but this phrase seemed fitting.
Official Tash Translation: “Eres bien sabrosa” (to say it to a girl) or “Eres bien sabroso” (to say to a boy) = “You’re so tasty.”
“¿Tenías hambre?” = “Were you hungry?”
Cringe Learning Level: 7/10.
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