He sired five children with three women,
all toward whom he was unfaithful.
One dalliance was with an adult film actor
just after the third and current and current wife
gave birth to the youngest child.
He’s been running a shady New York
real estate empire inherited from his sociopathic
father, who was forced to intervene
when his son’s Atlantic City casino went belly up.
Then came the steaks venture,
the vodka venture,
the airline venture,
the sham online university that ripped off veterans.
There are also five bankruptcies and draft deferments,
multiple rape allegations,
and a rather unusually close
relationship with child sex traffickers.
In the 1980s is believed to be when he began
working on behalf of Soviet interests lest he be overlooked
for lucrative construction projects and salacious details
of a sordid past be brought to light.
As you might assume, his political experience
is on par with his compunction. Don’t worry,
though, friends, NBC invested millions
in training him to pander to a television audience
anesthetized on reality TV. (Never mind
the network later fired him for being too racist.)
So, yes, gentlemen, he’s perfect for angry,
gullible, ignorant conspiracy theorists.
We will tolerate him as long as he cuts
our taxes more. Don’t worry
about congressional republicans.
They’ll fall in line.
They always do.
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