We Fed Our Entire Podcast to AI and The Results Were... Unhinged
What happens when you give artificial intelligence 45 hours of sibling chaos to analyze? This episode. That’s what.
Ryan (my brother, currently living his best overthinking life in Okinawa) decided to take every single transcript from our podcast—all 37 episodes, 524,829 words of pure, unfiltered sibling energy—and feed it to Claude. His mission? To create our first annual “Unraveled” awards ceremony, because apparently we’ve reached the point in our podcast journey where we’re analyzing ourselves like we’re some kind of cultural phenomenon instead of two Canadians who forgot to mention Tim Hortons more than six times.
The kicker? Claude was excited about it. The AI literally said, “This is going to be fun. Let me dive into 45 hours of dryer chaos and start mining for gold.”
Even robots think we’re entertaining. I don’t know whether to be flattered or concerned.
If you want to follow along with us for this episode, click the image below to be taken to the Unraveled website.
The Moment We Realized We Say “Like” More Than We Breathe
I’m just going to rip the band-aid off here: We said “like” 18,238 times.
That’s once every 8.9 seconds. EVERY. 8.9. SECONDS.
Ryan put it on the screen during the reveal, and honestly, I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there forever, but was also, like, proud? We were both educated! In Canada! At South Ajax’s finest schools! And yet here we are, verbal tick champions of the millennial generation, saying “like” so frequently that it could be classified as a nervous system response rather than actual speech.
For context, our second-most used word was “right” at 1,581 mentions. That’s not even CLOSE. It’s not even in the same universe. If you graphed it, “like” would be a skyscraper and everything else would be someone’s basement apartment.
But first—before we spiral into existential crisis territory—let me tell you about the other words on our “Verbal Tick Leaderboard”:
* Actually: 926 times (very on-brand for siblings who need to correct each other constantly)
* I don’t know: 546 times (the theme of this podcast, truly)
* Sorry: 329 times (🇨🇦 flag absolutely necessary here)
* Truly: 149 times (that’s me, and I’m not even sorry about it)
* Unhinged: Made it to seventh place, which feels deeply appropriate
McDonald’s vs. Tim Hortons: A National Disgrace
Okay, so here’s where it gets embarrassing for our Canadian heritage.
McDonald’s mentions: 119
Tim Hortons mentions: 6
That’s a 20-to-1 ratio, guys. The AI stamped us with the “Un-Canadian” seal of approval, and honestly? Fair. We deserve it. I mention McDonald’s approximately once every 23 minutes of podcast content, which tracks with how often I think about McDonald’s in real life.
(Ryan, for the record, flexes constantly that he hasn’t been to McDonald’s since 2004, which is somehow both impressive and deeply suspicious. Like, not even once? Not even in an airport at 3am when you’re questioning all your life choices? Sure, Ryan.)
The last time I was in Canada, Tim Hortons had butter tarts that had no business being as good as they were. Ryan also begged our parents to bring him Timbits when they visited Ryan in Okinawa—just buy them at the airport, they’ll stay fresh for 24 hours, he said. Birthday cake Timbits specifically, because sometimes you just need one. Or twelve. Or just enough to feel guilt and shame, at the same time.
I also need to mention the peach drink from Tim Hortons, which is my second favorite thing from there. It burns going down from the sheer amount of artificial flavoring and sugar, and I love it. It makes your mouth taste sweet for like six hours afterward and probably contributes to tooth decay, but that’s future me’s problem. Present me just wants that gas station peach drink energy.
We’re Surprisingly Obsessed With Death
Most Morbid Discovery Alert:
For a podcast that’s supposed to be about nostalgic childhood memories and pop culture, we are *shockingly* morbid. Ryan built this whole section with a flashlight cursor moving around in the dark revealing these numbers, and I was genuinely sweating:
* Ghost: 55 mentions
* Haunted: 13 mentions
* Kill/Killed: 60 mentions
* Murder: 30 mentions
* Death/Dead/Died: 293 mentions
That’s nearly 500 references to murder, death, and general morbidity. We’re going to be suspects in something one day, I swear. There’s going to be a true crime documentary about us where they show slow-motion footage of us laughing on the podcast with ominous music playing. “They seemed so normal,” someone will say. “They lit up every room they entered.”
(They’ll show us literally lighting up a room with a flashlight because we were looking for evidence we definitely didn’t hide, but the editing will make it look suspicious.)
To be fair, we did do episodes on the Menendez Brothers, the Alcatraz escape, and various other crimes throughout history. But still. Maybe we should dial it back in 2026? Maybe focus on, I don’t know, Lisa Frank stickers or something?
Family Mentions: Mom Wins (Obviously)
The Family Mentioned Leaderboard:
* Mom - 726 times (I know she’s reading this with the biggest smile on her face right now. Hi Mom! You won!)
* Dad - beer puke story provider
* Dan - The Chaos King - 443 mentions
* Jonathan - No label, which is very Jonathan of him
* Me (Jacqueline) - “Co-host and Crying Enthusiast”
* Ryan - “Co-host”
* Taylor and her butt tumor
I was actually right about my prediction—Daniel IS the most talked-about sibling. With sound bites like “Daniel energy,” “so on-brand for Daniel,” “Daniel strikes again,” and “this is so Daniel,” our younger brother has officially been crowned the Chaos King. And honestly? He earned it. The man ruled our household with an iron fist growing up, and apparently we’re still not over it.
Also, can we discuss the fact that Dallin didn’t even make the list, but Taylor’s butt tumor did? Our sweet departed beagle and her unfortunate tumor got 31 separate mentions across the podcast. When Taylor was alive, we would desperately tell visitors “don’t look at it, whatever you do, please don’t acknowledge the butt tumor.” Now we talk about it constantly like it’s part of our family lore.
We’re like Eminem in 8 Mile—we’re owning our trauma. “Yeah, we had a dog with a butt tumor! What about it?!”
The Croissant Incident: A Top Three Unhinged Moment
Speaking of trauma, let’s discuss what the AI determined were our most unhinged text messages of 2025.
Third Place: Dad’s “crusty damp panties” response during a game of Ransom Note (I physically cannot type those words without feeling ill, but there they are, immortalized by AI in an animated slide where each word stamps onto the screen one at a time like a ransom note, because Ryan is COMMITTED to the bit)
Second Place: Dad’s comment about mom getting beer puke in her hair and motorcycle helmet from a drunk guy high up on a ride (our family dynamics are truly something special)
First Place: My stroke scare.
Aka THE CROISSANT INCIDENT.
So here’s what happened: I texted the family group chat—not 911, not a doctor, but the FAMILY GROUP CHAT—because I was convinced I was having a stroke. The telltale sign? I kept smelling croissants. Everywhere. Just constant phantom croissant smell following me around my log house in Utah.
Turns out—and I truly cannot emphasize enough how ridiculous this is—I had bought a croissant-scented air freshener, plugged it in, and completely forgotten about both the purchase AND the plugging-in. Multiple layers of chaos here:
* I bought a croissant-scented air freshener (who does that?)
* I plugged it in and forgot
* I smelled it and thought “stroke” instead of “air freshener”
* I texted my family instead of calling a medical professional
* It took me WAY too long to remember the air freshener existed
Ryan built a whole animation for this with croissant emojis floating across the screen, and I have to admit, it’s art.
My Awards Acceptance Speech
Look, I’m not going to lie—when Ryan started revealing all these awards, I felt like that kid in church who won “Special Child of the Week.” Remember that? Where they’d describe you before announcing your name? “This child can paint really good flower pots... wait, nevermind, they painted a hamburger... Jacqueline Rochelle Porter!”
Here are my wins:
🏆 The Crying Achievement Award - 158 references to me crying, including two actual instances of crying live on the podcast. My most iconic tear quote: “I will cry every day until Christmas” (there were still 78 days until Christmas when I said that, and yes, dear reader, I kept my word)
🏆 The Golden Arches Award - For McDonald’s mentions dominating our Canadian identity
🏆 Co-winner of the Unhinged Text Award - For the croissant stroke scare (though I’m giving this one to Dad in the spirit of the Macklemore/Kendrick Grammy moment)
When Ryan showed me all these awards stacking up, I imagined myself doing that post-ceremony press conference photo where one person wins everything and they’re holding like seventeen Grammys. That’s me. That’s my 2026 energy.
The Devil’s Podcast: Our Most Meta Moment
The final award? The one that really sent me?
We mentioned our own podcast 666 times.
Six. Seis. Roku.
Ryan made it reveal like a slot machine, and when those numbers lined up, I genuinely gasped. That’s approximately 18 self-references per episode, which... look, we KNOW we’re bottom-five podcasts on the entire internet. We say it with pride! Our most common self-aware moments include:
* “This is bottom five podcasts on the entire internet”
* “No one’s listening”
* “Why do we always talk about puke on this podcast?”
But here’s the thing—we talk about ourselves constantly because we’re genuinely baffled that this exists. It’s like we’re constantly checking in with each other: “Are we still doing this? Are we still recording ourselves having sibling conversations? Okay cool, just checking.”
Behind the Scenes: Ryan’s Conversations With AI
The true unhinged content from this episode wasn’t even the awards—it was Ryan’s text updates to me as Claude analyzed our podcast.
* “Claude says this is incredible data”
* “It’s literally having a fun time doing the analysis”
* “It keeps reading things by itself and making comments”
At one point, Ryan was working with Lovable AI to build the awards website, and he realized the Taylor’s butt tumor slide wasn’t dramatic enough. So he told the AI he needed “a missing butt tumor animation” and a “better reveal.”
The AI responded—I kid you not—with: “Let me add the butt tumor slide handler” and included in its technical update: “Item #9: Butt tumor tracker - new component added with bouncing peaches animation.”
Ryan is definitely on a list now. And the beautiful thing about AI is that it aggregates all this information, which means Taylor’s butt tumor is now part of Claude’s understanding of human conversation. Somewhere in the future, an AI is going to recommend butt tumor content to someone asking for podcast ideas, and it’ll be because of us.
We’re pioneers, truly.
What This All Means (If Anything)
Here’s what I learned from having 45 hours of my life analyzed by artificial intelligence:
* We say “like” more than I breathe (working on it, I’m truly not)
* I cry a lot and I’m not even sorry about it
* My McDonald’s obsession is worse than I thought (Noa knows Auntie Jacqueline’s favorite food is McDonald’s fries, which is both accurate and devastating)
* We’re morbid chaos agents who somehow convinced even a robot that we’re interesting
* Mom will always be #1 (as she should be)
* Daniel’s legacy of chaos lives on in every episode
* We’re incredibly self-aware about being incredibly un-self-aware
Ryan spent hours building out this whole website experience, complete with award envelope reveals, animations, and bouncing peach emojis. The dedication to making a professional analysis of our deeply unprofessional podcast is *chef’s kiss*.
We’re Making This an Annual Tradition
That’s right—we’re committing to doing “Unraveled” every year. Will we still be podcasting next year? Who knows! But if we record even one episode in 2026, we’re doing this again. I need to see if my “truly” count goes up or if Ryan can go a full year without mentioning Nazis (his 2026 resolution, apparently, which is already concerning that it needed to be a resolution).
Next year, I want to see:
* Word clouds for each family member
* Positive vs. negative sentiment analysis on our family mentions
* A “like” counter live on every episode (accountability)
* More croissant incident-level chaos, honestly
Your Turn
Okay, so here’s my question for you, whether you’ve been here since episode one or you stumbled upon this because you follow creators with zero followers as a public service:
What’s the most embarrassing thing AI would discover about YOU if it analyzed your entire digital footprint?
Because let’s be real—we all have our “like” equivalent. Mine just happens to be documented in 45 hours of audio that now lives forever on the internet, analyzed by an AI that found us delightful.
Leave a comment if you’re reading this on Substack. Tell us who you are and WHY you’re subjecting yourself to this content. We genuinely want to know. We can’t help but love you for being here.
And if you haven’t already, please subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen. Leave us a five-star review. Tell your friends about the podcast with 666 self-mentions. Be part of the chaos.
Until next time (like, next time, truly, like)
Ryan and Jacqueline
P.S. - The full “Unraveled” website experience is live and includes all the animations, award reveals, and bouncing peach emojis your heart could desire. Check the show notes for the link.
P.P.S. - Mom, I know you’re reading this. You won.
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