(Preface: I wrote this post on November 28th, 2020 and had wanted to share it on social media but for one reason or another did not. It is a fairly personal post - but one that I felt like sharing after learning this past week that over 500,000 people have died from Covid-19 in the US.
Because it is mentioned in the post, sodabi is one of Benin's country drinks, akin to Russian Vodka or US Moonshine. It is a liquor distilled from palm trees and is a staple in many Beninese households.
And now, the post.)
Death.
It is something I didn't have much experience with growing up. There were a few that I can remember when I was young (under the age of 10) - my maternal grandmother and paternal great-grandmother "nana" - but I didn’t go to my first funeral until I was around 15 or 16.
On the other hand, my husband, who grew up in Benin, helped his photographer father while he was growing up, encountering death at a very young age.
Here in Benin, even before the pandemic, you could easily attend a funeral every weekend if you wanted. In the last couple of months, each weekend there has been a funeral of an extended family member that we could have gone to.
Why am I bringing this subject up?
Yesterday I lost an uncle to Covid. A death. Those feelings that arise when death arrives started to surface and it made me start to think.
Here in Benin, the circle of life is very apparent. It is not something that is hidden or talked about in quiet voices around children. Death is real and you face the reality of that all the time. In fact, my mother-in-law is at a funeral right now.
You see that grief is 100% allowed, and you don’t have to cover your face or cry in silence. Wail if you need to. Dance the grief out if you need to. Drink a shot of sodabi if you need to. Reminisce with family members if you need to. Pray if you need to. Listen to music if you need to. Play the piano if you need to. Write if you need to. Sit by yourself under a mango tree if you need to. Any and all forms of grief are accepted.
I send out my love and condolences to my aunt and cousins who have lost a husband, father, and grandfather. Quiet tears are falling as I write this...as I remember the times that I spent around my uncle...and for the grief that most certainly will encircle my aunt and their daughters.
Tonight I will send out a toast to my uncle’s life with a glass of sodabi and imagine him riding his Harley in heaven.
To all those that have lost during this difficult time, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Grieve however you need to. There is no judgement coming from this corner of the world.
How I keep up with US News!
The Morning Brew - "Awesome daily email that delivers the top business news in a way that's informative and entertaining!"
Marketplace - daily podcast "providing context on the economics news of the day" hosted by Kai Ryssdal
