You’re staring at your screen again.
Do you ever feel like you spend an inordinate amount of time everyday thinking to yourself ‘I still have time.’
Do you spend most of your day thinking about trying to fix yourself, wanting to fix yourself, saying ‘one day I’ll fix myself.’?
Have you ever been so tired, sleep couldn’t fix it?
Wanting something to say so bad but you can’t find the right words?
Happy pills stop working.
People ask what’s wrong. Are you ok?
And you’re trying your best.
You think you’re good at faking it but you’re not.
you listen to sad songs that make you feel better.
You search your phone for that person to call, but you don’t have that person to call anymore.
Feel like a broken toy? Kicked, torn apart, alone. Searching for pieces that were never there in the first place?
Do you feel ugly?
I feel like that.
I feel like that all the time.
I feel like that.
I feel like that.
I feel like that all the time.
I feel like that all the time.
When was the last time you had something original to say?
Are you stuck in a marriage of what could have been?
Feel enslaved to what never was?
Who hurt you? How long ago? Why can’t you forgive them? Who did that to you?
Do you hate what you see in the mirror?
Have you accepted your mediocrity?
Can you be honest with yourself?
Who are you comparing yourself to? Can you forget them? Ignore them? Do you want to? Did you try?
Impression strangers?
Are you trapped in your head?
Do the voices frighten you? Are they on your side? Is that really you?
Are you a good friend? Do you have any?
Do you crave validation? When’s it enough?
Do you trigger yourself to have an excuse to not focus on work?
Do you forget to follow through... on purpose?
Did you miss the call, not respond to the email, didn’t text back... on purpose?
Afraid of looking stupid?
Afraid to say I’m sorry first?
Are you faking it?
Feel like a fraud? Like you don’t deserve this. In over your head?
I feel like that
I feel like that all the time.
I feel like that. I feel like that.
Are you too stubborn to call it depression?
You can’t accept defeat so you unconditionally surrender?
Do you wake up with regret? Self sabotage.
Tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow? Stuck at day one feedback loop?
Guilt, at the end of the day is just another excuse but I feel guilty anyways.
Do you repeat the cycle? Do you rebel against structure?
Harm yourself? Do you fight against your rescue?
Do you fear abandonment but abandon yourself?
Do you dwell on your triggers?
Do you abuse your self indulgences? Did you lose yourself?
Are you stuck in the past? Revel in the glory days?
Are you lying? No. Are you a liar? Yes.
Have you lost your appetite? Have you lost your hunger?
Are you stuck in the simulation?
Do you want to get out? Wake up. Are you jealous? Green with envy?
Petty? Vindictive? Pissed off? Irrational? Do you feel inadequate?
Unworthy? Lazy?
I feel like that all the time.
I feel like that.
I feel like that all the time!
Did you burn your bridges?
Did you think you were special?
Did you ever love this?
Are you underestimated?
Do you remember how it feels to prove them wrong?
Have you forgotten? Just who the fuck you think you are.
You are not your thoughts, because YOU are the one who thinks them.
You can’t be your feelings because YOU are the one who feels them.
You’re not what you have, you’re not what you do, you’re not who you love or who loves you- there is a YOU shaped hole in the universe.
Do not be romantic about your results. Just get them.
Remember who you are. And be more of that.
Your life is what you have to say. Otherwise why are you here?
Climb treasure mountain. Do not return empty handed.
Where are you now?
Get full access to good content by Knives Monroe at knivesmonroe.substack.com/subscribe