Hey guys, I wanted to show you more of the actual swiping but it just ended up being way too complex trying to put stickers over all the images and I didn’t feel comfortable sharing people’s profiles, so it’s just me staring into the tinder abyss. Sorry about that!
If you want a weird, inside look at what swiping on apps and getting date looks like in practice, this is the video for you!
If you’re like me, you might find swiping extremely onerous. It’s hard, if not impossible to feel any sort of connection to someone’s photo and awkward text messages. But the men I’ve been meeting in the wild have been too young, under-employed and unavailable, so I feel like it’s a worthwhile place to find a compatible peer. Getting yourself out there on dates is also just SUCH a great way to feel more attractive and start putting out a subtle vibe that you’re available. Honestly, I start getting approached by so many men as soon as I start going ondates!
Here’s what I did.
Set a clear goal of getting at least one date. The key here is to get myself out there, not necessarily find the man I’m going to marry.
What’s hard about Tinder is there is SO much to sort through, fake, real, avoidant, just there to be overly sexual and scare women or get a one night-stand and a lot of married guys. But the good thing is literally EVERY MAN is on it. So, you can see the full scope of what’s out there and get realistic about what you’re looking for and what’s actually possible.
Here’s what seems to work
* Put aside 1.5-2 hrs on a Friday night to swipe and message with people. I HIGHLY recommend doing thsi with a friend and making it fun. Let them grab your phone and get guys on dates!
* Text the guys first. They will appreciate it and you can be more selective. This is not “chasing.”
* Invited people who seemed decent to coffee ASAP.
* Get off the app and into the world. If they resist, dump ‘em
* In general, think the best of people, don’t criticize and be honest, but funny and flirty.
* Guys are terrible at this (often and especially the good ones), so be a little forgiving.
It’s easier in this day and age to take a good photo, so the photos are typically pretty accurate, but again, guys are not great at this.
One note: I’ve had a lot of support on getting my dating profile in top shape including having a dating coach take my photos and it DOES make a difference in the quality of matches. This isn’t the subject of this episode. If you haven’t done this, I strongly recommend getting a dating coach to help if you can afford it (there are even people on fiverr). Or at least, ask a friend to help out who successfully met someone online.
Thanks for everyone who put good vibes out to me! I have a date I’m looking forward to tomorrow!
