Your Feelings Are Not the Enemy
They might feel all over the place, yet they are not your enemy. Feelings are information.
In this episode, Jay explores the first step toward building an unshakable foundation: practicing emotional self-awareness.
Drawing from personal experience and influences such as Nonviolent Communication, Buddhist psychology, Ubuntu philosophy, and the psychological clarity of Alfred Adler and Friedemann Schulz von Thun, Jay invites listeners to rethink their relationship with feelings.
Feelings are not enemies to conquer. They are signals—rooted in thoughts, needs, and embodied experience. When named with honesty, they become guides toward dignity, connection, and vision.
This essay-episode unfolds as:
Why feelings matter for dignity, hope, and vision
Authentic vs. inauthentic feelings (with a reference chart to explore in the companion essay)
How naming strengthens boundaries and creates a bridge to deeper connection
The first step toward change—naming as a radical act of dignity and hope
Jay also shares a visual reference chart and a list of common inauthentic feelings in the corresponding essay on Substack, along with access to the NVC Navigator and the Feelings & Needs Database for paid subscribers.
Key Quote
“Feelings are never the enemy. They are the ground of our becoming, the first breath of hope.”
Call to Action
💬 Join the conversation: add your hopes and visions in the anonymous form Shared Visions, Hopes & Dreams (link in the show notes).I invite you to add your own hopes, dreams, and ideas to the open, anonymous Google Form “Shared Visions, Hopes & Dreams”.
And if I may ask to please share this link: https://forms.gle/38GbirQKabv4CmCr8
If you ask five people directly (by email, in a DM, in a comment) to contribute and share it again with five people, you are going to build your vision together. The form is only the vehicle. All answers are openly visible. If you consider promoting it in essays, articles or notes I’d be thrilled.🌀 Paid subscribers: download the NVC Navigator – Feelings Cheatsheet and explore the full Feelings & Needs Database.Paid subscribers can download the NVC Navigator – Feelings Cheatsheet and access my personal Feelings & Needs Database—with over 400 feelings (each with a short description), 240+ needs, subcategories, categories, circle connections and matching needs. Available in English and Deutsch. Everything in one place, at your fingertips. As paid subscriber please proceed to my Download Page.
Thank you for reading and walking this path with me.
🐾 Support the writing (and Monty the cat): become a paid subscriber, donate, or simply share this episode.
If you find my essays & poems valuable and want to support me in living, here are a some suggestions:
* Become a paid subscriberor give a one-time donationor Buy Monty (my gorgeous cat) cat food
* All the writing on Wild Lion*esses Pride is freely offered, there are no paywalls here. Paid subscriptions and donations are a truly meaningful way to support my livelihood as a writer, and go a long way in sustaining my living after having lost almost everything.
* Read more here if you like: When Healing Means Losing Everything
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Thank you — Monty and I truly appreciate your support.
