It’s business as usual before a big life change, but we know life transitions happen every 18 months for adults, and life is no longer the same as yesterday, so this is such an important space for friendships. This podcast is all about friendship after a big life change: the after a divorce edition.
Breck and Sally are joined by guest Sari Kimbell, a self-described introvert that just needs a few high-quality friends.
Divorce and Friendship
Sari went through a divorce after ten years of marriage. With her then-husband, one day they decided "the relationship has ended." She likes to say it was a good divorce with one bad day! It was also a year she took a shotgun to her life: turned 40, diagnosed with a gluten allergy, not a mother, not a dog-owner, also got laid off, living in her mom's basement. Despite the challenges, Sari's joy and zest for life comes through in this conversation. She asked herself: with a clean slate, what does she want to create in her life?
Before the divorce, she and her husband had a lot of couple friends, and Sari had one best friend that had moved away. And upon divorce, most of the couple friends went to her ex-husband as they were originally friends with him. The best advice she got? Take a year, don't date, don't make any major life changes, and just recalibrate. (hint: because of her own exploration... she hasn't been back to a zoo!)
Making Friends After the Divorce
What helped her through the friend attrition she had faced while still a couple and in her mid-thirties, and now she's 40 and divorced?
* Getting involved in a non-profit around an interest she cared about, and then going out on a limb and asking a woman she met there to hang out!
* Shared activities and hobbies you enjoy with someone is a good place to start when trying to get to know someone.
* Sending someone an email, asking if they want to get a coffee.
Showing Up For Your Friends Going Through a Divorce
Other words of advice if you have a friend going through a divorce?
* Reach out, tell them there's no judgement
* Tell them you love them where they are
* Tell them “I'm here for you, how can I help?”
Ultimately, making friends is about making it a priority. It isn't always about achievement, it's about fulfillment.
Continue to Bask
* Use Marco Polo to keep the threads of your relationships alive.
* More about Sari:
Sari Kimbell has held just about every position in the CPG food industry from grocery buyer to selling local produce wholesale into stores, running a commissary kitchen to starting her own food business and helping food brands get off the shelves as the Marketing Director at Whole Foods Market.
In 2015, she decided to start her own business with a mission to help packaged food entrepreneurs start and scale profitable businesses called Food Business Success. Sari is also becoming a certified life coach and will be incorporating business coaching for food founders into her business in 2021.
In her non-work time, you can find Sari at farmers markets, in her home kitchen making something delicious, at brunch with friends and family, at pilates, riding her bike on the Denver trails and playing with her Covid cat, Calvin. Find her at SariKimbell.com.
