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Now, let’s get into it…
Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,
There came a moment…
It dawned on me…
That everything I’ve been doing…
Is b******t
My pleasing voice. 🤮
The polite emails. 🤮
The way I dressed for that conference. 🤮
I just spent thousands of dollars to spend a whole week around a bunch of motherfuckers I don’t like.
I sold my soul EVERY DAY…
Just to make a buck.
And I thought:
Why am I doing this?
And the sickest part of it all?
Some of the people who go to these events believe they had fun.
Those people don’t know the meaning of fun.
I’m calling b******t.
One Bachata Congress, and I never set foot in a marketing convention again.
I don’t care if I’m losing business.
These people chip away at my soul.
I don’t f*****g like them.
Look at me begging them to approve of me.
Running perfect circles around the sun to live up to their standards.
But I hate these motherfuckers.
What’s up with that?
Then the truth hits me like a bus:
I’ve been auditioning for approval.
…MY WHOLE LIFE!
👉 Trying to get picked.👉 Trying to prove myself.👉 Trying to make rejection impossible.
It affected the way I approached everything.
You spend your whole life following orders.
Being told what to do.
And then you hardly notice that every relationship you’ve ever had is based on conditional love.
You’ve constructed an entire business model around winning approval from others.
I wasn’t building a business.
I was building an excellent tap dancing routine.
Sometimes, it sounds like:
👉 “Let me know if that works for you.”
👉 “Happy to revise if needed!”
👉 “Just checking in to see if…”
Translation:
Do you like me? Please like me.
I was brilliant.
I had receipts.
Firepower and vision
Know how Tony Robbins says, “Success leaves clues?”
Signs of my greatness were everywhere.
And still I doubted myself.
I needed YOU to tell me I was fine first.
People pleasing says:
“Deep down, I hate myself.”
This is why you’re willing to abandon yourself to be polite.
Why you need others to tell you you’re okay.
That’s why you’re smiling when you want to choke somebody.
Because you already think you’re worthless.
It says:
“I’m not good enough and I need to prove myself worthy.”
You’re apologizing for being yourself from the jump.
Because you don’t believe you’re good enough as you are.
You’re editing yourself to avoid being rejected.
Because you already think you ain’t s**t.
And that’s a trap.
I stopped trying to impress people I didn’t respect.
Sounds simple, but it wasn’t.
Those people signed my checks.
Some of them are ego manics.
I became a world-class shape-shifter.
I was the ultimate Yes-man.
Whatever got me the gig.
"Whatever you want, dear…”
But one day I looked around and realized:
I’m surrounded by people who only like the fake version of me.
They’re saying the real me is unacceptable.
Wow.
And I tolerate this person?
I sleep next to them?
I have sex with them?
And worse…
When you stay around people who can’t see you…
Who do not value you…
And you become blind to yourself.
Because there’s nobody to be a mirror for you.
That’s what happened to me.
Several times.
I forgot the real me.
I bent myself into a pretzel to please other people.
Yet, those same people wouldn’t do half for me…
So, I turned things around.
I started showing up for myself.
Putting myself first.
Believing in myself.
And something wild happened:
People started to respect me.
I started to respect me.
Some of us are taught that self-worth is conditional.
You get love if you behave.
If you stay skinny…
If you obey…
And this conditioning follows us everywhere.
Into job interviews.Into client pitches.Into dating.
And it works. For a while.You’ll get scraps.Half-hearted yeses.
People who treat you like you’re Pepe Le Pew while you pretend it’s acceptable.
But you will never feel free.
Because deep down, you’ll always know:
They didn’t say yes to the real me.
If someone IS going to reject you, there’s something freeing in knowing they rejected you for who you really are.
When you have clarity like that…
It’s not that hard to let go of people when they’ve outworn their welcome.
You can’t lead and seek approval at the same time.
Or, as I like to say…
I used to worry about what people thought about me…
Until I realized, one day, that to be successful, you have to be the type of person people talk about.
If you build your brand, your message, or your identity around being liked…
You’ll never speak uncomfortable truths.
You will never be brave.
How many people do you follow because they were nice?
You followed because they’re clear.They’re bold.They’re not asking for permission.
If you’re still clinging to approval:
* You will undercharge.
* You will stay quiet to make others feel comfortable.
* You will settle for crumbs.
So What Happens When You Stop?
You stop explaining yourself.
You stop begging for a seat at a table where you were never welcome.
You stop apologizing for being yourself.
You speak the ugly truth.
Have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking…
But nobody has the guts to voice out loud.
Which earns you mad respect.
And then what happens next?
You start acting like you already belong here.
Because you do.
Until next time,
Dancer, Writer, Buddhist.
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