There are moments in life when it seems like you have no words and yet there are so many things you want to say. Words to help process whatever you’re feeling.
That’s how grief is to me. When the pain is so deep all you have are tears. And while it seems like words would help process the grief, they just keep getting stuck.
A little over a year ago I experienced a depth of grief I had not felt for many years. And I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older, my empathy continues to heighten almost to the point of being unbearable at times.
Last year, around this time, our community experienced the tragic loss of OBPD Phylicia Carson. I will never forget where I was when my husband told me the horrible news. And the waves of grief began to wash over me. For the next several days I found myself unable to control the tears. The pain inside from the grief needed to come out and the tears were that outlet. Though I wasn’t close to Phylicia, she was a friend and so is her family. Knowing how painful it must’ve been for the beautiful family she left behind just continued to pierce my heart. The only thing that brought comfort is knowing she is home with the Savior!
I found myself feeling that same level of grief this Wednesday, September 10th, 2025. The day Charlie Kirk was assassinated.
But why did I feel such pain for someone I had never even met?
I think that says a lot about the type of person Charlie must’ve been. To have such an impact on people that they would grieve as though they’ve lost a dear friend when they’ve never even met you. A man who loved the Lord fiercely, who knew who he was created to be and stepped into it with great conviction and passion. He became such an influential part of so many of our lives. His passion, honesty and transparency drew us to him.
I have often thought about Charlie’s legacy. Especially last year during election season when I would listen to his show and hear how much he and the team at TPUSA were doing to try and save our country! It was amazing and inspiring to me the way he would unashamedly fight for what he believed in. I loved hearing the passion and excitement in his voice. And I remember thinking how grateful I was that he was on our side.
A few months back I was listening to him do an interview, I think with Jack Hibbs, when they were discussing what was next for him. I remember Charlie saying that right now he was spending some time enjoying the fruit of his labor. I keep replaying that in my head thinking on one side how grateful I am that he did get to see a little fruit while on this earth, but then on the other side feeling such a deep sense of loss over this man that seemed to still have so much left to do!
Was that truly all that God had planned for him? What about his beautiful wife and two little ones? What about the many people who were close to him? What about our country?
I’m reminded of Stephen-the first martyr for Christ-and the short time he seemed to have on earth. What grief those close to him must’ve felt! Did they think his life was unfairly cut short? That he was taken too soon? Did they have any idea of the impact his death would have for the world for the rest of time?
Would there’ve been a Charlie Kirk without Stephen’s death?
Charlie’s life exemplified Christ not only because he spoke and fought for Truth, but because he went to the sick. He took the Truth where it was desperately needed and where we’ve neglected to go for far too long. And the devil hated him for it. The devil will always hate strong, godly men who say, “here I am Lord, send me.”
So, the question now is: Are we willing to carry on the legacy of men like Stephen and Charlie even if it means death or losing a loved one? Will we say, “here I am Lord, send me”?
When a few weeks have passed and emotions aren’t as high and you’re bombarded with all the things, will you remember to carry the torch? Will you still want to? Where does your passion come from? Only the Lord can sustain.
I want to leave you with some scripture that has been a comfort to me for many years:“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21
Chad Prather post-why we feel Charlie’s death so deeply
*This picture is from the TPUSA x account. You can see the original post here.
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