Advent Part 24: Mary’s son is killed. Was it all for nothing?
John 19:25-42 (NLT)
25 Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” 27 And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.
28 Jesus knew that his mission was now finished, and to fulfill Scripture he said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of sour wine was sitting there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put it on a hyssop branch, and held it up to his lips. 30 When Jesus had tasted it, he said, “It is finished!” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
31 It was the day of preparation, and the Jewish leaders didn’t want the bodies hanging there the next day, which was the Sabbath (and a very special Sabbath, because it was Passover week). So they asked Pilate to hasten their deaths by ordering that their legs be broken. Then their bodies could be taken down. 32 So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the two men crucified with Jesus. 33 But when they came to Jesus, they saw that he was already dead, so they didn’t break his legs. 34 One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out. 35 (This report is from an eyewitness giving an accurate account. He speaks the truth so that you also may continue to believe.) 36 These things happened in fulfillment of the Scriptures that say, “Not one of his bones will be broken,” 37 and “They will look on the one they pierced.”
38 Afterward Joseph of Arimathea, who had been a secret disciple of Jesus (because he feared the Jewish leaders), asked Pilate for permission to take down Jesus’ body. When Pilate gave permission, Joseph came and took the body away. 39 With him came Nicodemus, the man who had come to Jesus at night. He brought about seventy-five pounds of perfumed ointment made from myrrh and aloes. 40 Following Jewish burial custom, they wrapped Jesus’ body with the spices in long sheets of linen cloth. 41 The place of crucifixion was near a garden, where there was a new tomb, never used before. 42 And so, because it was the day of preparation for the Jewish Passover[l] and since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there.
Dear God,
There are some things in this story I never noticed before. The first thing is that Mary’s sister was there. Jesus’s aunt. I will get back to that in a second.
As I focused on Mary through these prayer journals to you, I have come to see this whole experience through her eyes as a parent a little more vividly. The first thing I thought as I read this story was, “Well, this isn’t how this was supposed to work out at all.” What a devastating day! It is one thing to lose your son, but it is another to lose him so violently. And even more to have lost the man who was supposed to be the Messiah! She saw this coming. She saw the track he was on from at least the time she and his brothers tried to get him and take him home. This just was not going how she and Joseph foresaw it after they visited with the angels, with Zechariah and Elizabeth, with the shepherds, with Simeon and Anna, and with the wise men. I am sure she and Elizabeth talked a lot about who their boys would be when they grew up, and now they were both dead—killed brutally.
I would imagine she wished Joseph was there to hold and comfort her. I wonder what kinds of conversations she and her sister had over the previous 34 years. I am sure the early years were filled with awe and wonder. Perhaps big dreams and Israel’s liberation through him. Then, in recent years, concern that this was all unraveling. Was this too much for her son? Maybe he had lost his mind. Now they stood there together, Mary feeling loved by her sister, but also maybe a little judged. How embarrassing to have this happen to your own son.
And if you are Jesus, looking down, you see your mom, your aunt, and then John—apparently the only disciple that had the nerve to show up. It does not mention that Jesus’s brothers were there. Regardless, I think it is safe to say that Jesus did not trust them because he made John responsible for his mother’s care. I am sure their relationships were pretty strained and frayed by that point. It is all my conjecture, but the picture is pretty clear. She is standing there with her sister, with Mary Magdalene, with still another Mary, and with John. Her son’s life is over. And it sure looks like it was all a waste of time—Bethlehem, the stable, the rumors and innuendo, the flight to Egypt, the children slaughtered in Bethlehem, raising him… Now it was all over, and all she had left was to live out the rest of her life.
Of course, I have the advantage of knowing that that is not the end of the story, but I want to just sit with Mary in seeming failure for another day or two. Sometimes as parents we just do not know what is going on with our children. I talked with someone today whose son ended up failing out of their first year of college. It just did not work. His mother homeschooled him, and so she, at least in part, feels like his academic failure is an indictment against her. He feels like a failure. His father feels it too. But maybe this is a door that you needed to close for him to find the path you have for him. Maybe, like Mary, they simply cannot see what you are doing.
Father, help me to be at peace with the fact that sometimes things just do not go according to my plans because my plans can be vain, shortsighted, and foolish. Help me to let go of my plans and simply look to you in this moment, this day. Thank you for the things you have done that I can both see and not see, and then be at peace in your presence. Let me give my utmost for your highest, regardless of what it costs me.
I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Amen
