I was s**t-scared of parenthood. But also gnawingly curious about what it might be like.
In the west, we’re repeatedly told that life is about cramming in as much fame, money, travel, adventure, friends, sex, exercise, career success, self-care, spontaneous fun and individual autonomy as possible. Often by someone who stands to profit.
From the outside, parenthood looks a lot like the death of all these things. The death of the dreams we were told to have. Can I still make music? Go off on tour? Move to Peru? Pabloooooo!
It’s one of life’s great event horizons. A mind-bending threshold of no return. Are you sure you wish to cancel? Are you sure? You can’t go back. ARE YOU SURE?
The song
Childish Thoughts is a song about this threshold, told by someone thinking about crossing it, using, as the name suggests, some obliquely immature or otherwise child-themed references. See if you can spot them all.
It documents the journey from first moments of curiosity about the idea, through denial and fascination to eventual resolution.
A range of kids musical instruments and toys feature in this version, mostly whichever ones I tripped over first in the playroom that is our entire home. Some got processed beyond recognition with fancy audio effects, you’ll see what’s what in the video.
Watch the video, take a listen
Click the video below, listen to the audio at the top or download the audio here.
It’s a mid-album track, not exactly a single (what does that mean now?). But it felt important to include. The studio version doesn’t feature children’s toys, but does feature the magnificent talents of harpist Rachel Newton and fiddle player extraordinaire Lauren MacColl.
What do you think? Post it around, share with friends and drop your thoughts in the comments.
Other songs in this series:
Keep Me Around, Asking For A Friend.
Lyrics
I’ve been having childish thoughtsAbout doing it with youWe could break this silenceWith the noises of youth
I’ve been having childish thoughtsI think you’ve had 'em tooCalls of natureAre what your mind is turning to
Some say ignore themThey need to learnBut I often return to these
Childish thoughtsWhat am I to do?Deep down I'm a child tooAll these needs and I long to be held
These childish thoughts keep changing meBut I like things as they areSome say ignore themThey need to learnBut I often return to theseChildish thoughts
Every new life starts with one little deathAnd I'm afraid to face mineThey creep into our room and seek comfort in our bedYou say baby baby baby please
Still I keep having childish thoughtsAbout us going all the wayI think I’d like to see the dayWhen I come early and you’ll be late
These childish thoughts keep following meAnd maybe it’s time to leadCos I can't ignore themAnd I need to learnThat I'm called to return
Cos every new life starts with one little deathAnd it's time to look mine in the eyeThey double dare me but I ain’t flinching when they stareIt’s time to act my ageAnd have some childish thoughts with you
