Episode 9: Food, Shame & Survival

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Episode 9 - Food, Shame & Survival: From Disordered Eating to Eating Disorders

The most shocking revelation? How childhood food shaming—being nicknamed “Thunder Thighs” or sneaking food in secret—doesn’t just shape eating habits. It ripples across family systems, rewiring how generations relate to food, body image, and even self-worth. It’s time to tackle the fears around food and elements of body shaming that lead to disordered eating and eating disorders.

Let’s cut to the chase: Which lies of diet culture are still running your relationship with food, your weight, and your body?

In this raw and revealing episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel dismantle the toxic diet mentality that fuels disordered eating, secrecy, and shame. They discuss the differences in disordered eating and eating disorders to get clear on how they are classified and defined. They facilitate a deeper discussion to dispel “good” vs. “bad” food labels—showing how these cultural scripts hardwire guilt into every bite, especially for larger-bodied individuals who feel policed when eating in public.

Kristin shares unfiltered stories of eating in hiding, ordering multiple meals to disguise intake, and navigating the gray area between overeating and undiagnosed binge eating disorder. Bariatric surgery, ADHD, hormonal shifts, and later-life diagnoses add another layer, revealing how biology, brain chemistry, and diet culture collide in destructive survival loops.

Together, Kristin and Frances explore:

* The real difference between disordered eating patterns and diagnosable eating disorders

* How ADHD, anxiety, and perimenopause amplify food struggles (and why “mindful eating” advice often backfires)

* How parents can break generational shame cycles by teaching food balance without creating restriction trauma

* The promise and pitfalls of GLP-1 medications, and how they address only one piece of “food noise”

* Why even “healthy” foods like nuts or peanut butter can fuel cycles of overconsumption and shame

* How to shift identity from “dieter” to “nourished person” using nervous system regulation, community, and self-awareness

Frances also reflects on growing up as the tallest of her siblings—labeled “the big one” and restricted by a well-meaning but parent also steeped in diet culture. That early food policing created secretive eating and shame that carried into adulthood. But through therapy, parenting differently, and conscious healing, she demonstrates how cycles can be broken.

This isn’t just about food—it’s about identity, survival, and reclaiming the power to nourish instead of punish.

Whether you’ve lived through bariatric surgery, are exploring GLP-1 treatments, or simply want to untangle diet culture’s grip on your life, this episode will give you clarity, compassion, and strategies to finally break free.

CHAPTERS

00:00:01 - Welcome to Bariatric Mindset Podcast

00:05:02 - Fear of Eating in Public

00:07:35 - Hiding Food Orders and Family Dynamics

00:10:42 - Breaking the Cycle of Food Shame

00:13:24 - Childhood Food Restrictions and Family Dynamics

00:16:26 - Teaching Kids Healthy Food Relationships

00:21:32 - Childhood Sugar vs Modern Cereal Choices

00:22:30 - Vacation Cravings and Food Choices

00:25:51 - Finding Food Balance Framework

00:27:44 - Disordered Eating vs Eating Disorders

00:32:38 - ADHD and Binge Eating Connection

00:37:57 - ADHD and Emotional Eating Connection

00:40:15 - ADHD Diagnosis During Perimenopause

00:43:43 - Medication Adjustments and Hormone Therapy

00:48:13 - Healing Diet Culture and Finding What Works

00:51:35 - Questioning Your Normal Food Relationship

00:53:38 - Overcoming Post-Surgery Food Fear

00:55:26 - Moving Beyond Diet Mentality and Transfer Addiction

00:58:19 - Building Community Support for Emotional Eating Recovery

01:00:19 - Changing Coping Strategies After Surgery

KEY TAKEAWAYS

* Secret eating behaviors often stem from judgment, not “food addiction.”Frances’s stories of eating in private and ordering multiple meals to disguise consumption highlight how external shame—rather than internal compulsion—can drive patterns that look like binge eating but are really survival strategies.

* Food restriction in childhood leaves deep psychological scars.Being labeled “the big one” amongst her siblings, and restricted from age 10, shows how early shaming and parental attempts at control can seed lifelong disordered eating, regardless of actual body size.

* Breaking generational cycles requires food neutrality.Kristin and Frances stress that it’s not enough to simply “avoid diet talk.” Parents must actively teach children about hunger cues, balance, and nutrition without attaching morality to food.

* Disordered eating exists on a spectrum—from stress eating to binge eating disorder.Not all overeating equals an eating disorder. The difference lies in secrecy, loss of control, and shame, which are markers of binge eating rather than occasional overeating.

* Diet mentality and “all-or-nothing” thinking keep people stuck.Whether it’s labeling foods as “good” or “bad” or turning to extreme resets like pouch resets, some people even turn to fasting as an attempt to create ‘control’, diet culture disguises restriction as health, feeding shame cycles instead of healing them.

* Neurodivergence and hormones complicate eating patterns.ADHD, anxiety, and perimenopause all play into food regulation. Many bariatric patients show ADHD traits, using food as a way to self-soothe the nervous system, which helps explain why “just eat mindfully” advice often fails.

* GLP-1 medications and bariatric surgery address biology, not psychology.While these tools can quiet physical hunger signals, they don’t resolve emotional eating, nervous system dysregulation, or the deeper identity work needed for lasting change.

* Even “healthy foods” can trigger disordered patterns.Peanut butter, nuts, or cereal may be nutritious, but they can still be over-consumed and tied to guilt or compulsion, proving that food neutrality—not food rules—is key.

* Identity shifts are essential for healing.Moving from “dieter” to “nourished person” requires nervous system regulation, community support, and reframing food as nourishment rather than punishment or reward.

Additional Questions for Growth

* How has diet culture brainwashed you—into fearing food, hating your body, and chasing weight as proof of worth?

* What does healthy eating actually look and feel like for you—not what the rules say it should be?

* What rhythms or habits feel “normal” and sustainable for your unique body?

* Are you still following diet culture’s rules, or are you beginning to trust your body’s signals?

* In what ways are you listening to your body right now? And if it feels hard, how are you practicing that skill?

* Do you pause to check in with your body throughout the day, or do you notice yourself pushing through on autopilot?

* Since surgery—or since starting GLP-1s—have you noticed yourself shifting toward new coping behaviors?

* What early coping strategies did you once label as “self-sabotage,” but were actually survival at the time? And today, what could you choose instead that supports growth, not just survival?

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