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I do two men’s meetings a week. One is small and intimate, and the other is big and rowdy. I love them both, but I like the rowdy one because the overall vibe is joyous and free. Sometimes it feels like a pep rally for sobriety, and who doesn’t enjoy a good pep rally?
That meeting also does a group meditation, which is very cool at such a large men’s meeting. The meditation is about two minutes long, and it’s nice for a newcomer to see the contrast of rowdiness and serenity—I think it sets them up for the idea that recovery involves lots of happy, joyous and free… but also plenty of contemplative moments, too.
The other night was a particularly interesting meditation. The room had about 60 guys in it, and the temperature outside was 70 degrees so the air conditioning wasn’t on. So as soon as the chairperson said we were now going to do a meditation, I had a momentary thought of, “Oh no.”
And sure enough, the room was a little too hot already, and now dudes were breathing in and out pretty heavy all around me. I kept feeling like I was catching a whiff of some manly body odor and definitely plenty of coffee breath, plus several other aromas that I won’t get into. So I spent the first 60 seconds or so feeling like I was huffing in a bunch of bro breath and it grossed me out.
But I opened my eyes for a few seconds to try to clear my head a bit, and the sight of 60 dudes with their eyes closed, trying to find a common ground in meditation was so beautiful. The rest of the meeting, as it always is, consisted of lots of belly laughs and aggressive hugging and cheering for people celebrating sober anniversaries. But in that moment, we were all joined in quietness, listening to a sober guy lead a guided meditation.
I ended up closing my eyes again and breathing through my mouth as much as possible, and it was awesome. It’s just so cool to be synced up with so many men I admire and hope to latch onto because of their recovery—even if it smells like Folgers decaf!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
SPEAKER AT AA MEETING: "I used to think that if I quit drinking I'd be incredibly boring and pompous."
Cross-talker: "At least you've come to grips with that."
(Credit: Grapevine, January 2009, by Anonymous)
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