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It’s that time of year again where people make resolutions. That means for me, I say (again) that I ate way too many donuts this past year and I need to stop eating so many freaking donuts in 2022… and then I white-knuckle it for 15 days before I slam three vanilla-frosteds in the Dunkin parking lot behind a dumpster.
Yep, resolution time. I’m mostly kidding around. It’s been a few years since I did the Jan. 1 resolution thing. But I’ve made many resolutions over the years—including about drinking and drugging when I was active. And I have a very low batting average on setting a resolution on Jan. 1 and then following through. That seems like a pretty normal thing—I drove past a packed gym parking lot on Jan. 3 and couldn’t help but think there’d be some more parking spots available on Feb. 3, and then on March 3.
But I’ll say two positive things about New Year’s resolutions and how effective they can be.
One is that on social media, I saw quite a few people celebrating their anniversaries on Jan. 1. So that means there are a lot of people out there who hit their bottom at the end of another addiction year and then did indeed get sober. So that’s awesome. I joke around about New Year’s resolution sobriety and also geographical moves being the clean break an alcoholic or addict might need because I failed with both of those things in the past… but I’ve met people who that actually IS the moment when they had just enough momentum to finally make a big change. Bravo, glad you got there.
The second thing is that sometimes a failed New Year’s resolution isn’t actually a fail. Sometimes a New Year’s resolution is the 13th vow you make, and it ultimately takes 19 more promises before you actually alter a behavior. And, according to, you know, math, you can’t count to No. 32 without including No. 13 in there along the way.
That’s been the case for me. I think I probably made five New Year’s resolutions where I promised myself I was going to stop drinking or cut down… and I whiffed on all five. Those failures ultimately played a part in me actually having some success.
Because it takes what it takes, right? I’ve probably broken 10 really harmful habits over the years, ranging from stuff that could kill me, like drugs and alcohol, to stuff that might kill me but it will take awhile, like nicotine, gambling and donuts, with a bunch of other smaller things in there. For instance, one year I decided on Jan. 1 to stop swearing for the year and I got to like Jan. 7 before I was like, “Son of a b***h, that a*****e…”
And with each one of those, it took more than one time of making the resolution and then following through. It took repeatedly saying I was going to stop or slow down on something, then failing, before I finally made a change.
So when I think about it that way… did my New Year’s resolution fail? Or was it a down payment on an important future change? I like to think of it more as that second description, as an investment that didn’t work out that time but ultimately paid off big-time.
Happy New Year. I hope if you’re looking to make a change, you make it. And if not, maybe crush a donut and then try again tomorrow.
In case you missed it, I put together a fun mini comedy special about my 10 favorite addiction/sobriety jokes. Check it out HERE! (It’s behind a paywall)
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
An old drunk opened his morning paper and was shocked to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best drinking buddy.
“Did you see the paper?” asked the old boozer. “They say I’ve died!”
"Yes, I saw it!" replied his buddy. "So, which place are you calling from?"
(Credit: AA Grapevine, June 2006, from Frank P. of Rockmart, Georgia)
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