If you want to subscribe to LOL Sober, hit the purple button below. I’m mostly publishing free pieces right now, but paid subscribers do have access to monthly premium pieces—such as THIS comedy special about my 10 favorite addiction/sobriety jokes!
I was driving near my house the other day when a car rushed in front of me and began to merge. Then the driver hesitated, and we both hit the brakes and drove 20 MPH paralyzed by what the other car was going to do.
The driver in the Mini Cooper eventually darted in front of me and surged ahead. I waved my arms once in frustration and kept it rolling. I actually wasn’t very bothered by it. It wasn’t dangerous and it wasn’t a ruthless cutoff where the guy was obviously being a dick. I moved on almost instantly.
About a half-mile from that spot, I pulled up into another intersection where I was going to be to the right of the guy who cut me off. I considered giving a dirty look to the guy to, you know, TEACH HIM AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON. But then my phone began to vibrate with an incoming call, and I looked down for a second and saw that it was a friend from recovery, Jimmy (not his real name). Jimmy is a young guy but he’s wise beyond his years because he works a really good program. He’s one of those guys who you see at a meeting and you’re really hoping he shares, because he always has something valuable to say. When his name pops up on my phone, I always feel a little warmer inside because I immediately feel some serenity wash over me.
I really like Jimmy, and it brought me back to thinking of spiritual solutions to conflict right at the perfect time. The Mini Coop was honking and blinking its lights as I pulled up, and I could see the guy had put his window down and was making hand motions. For a millisecond, I considered engaging but then thought better of it. I pulled up to the light, turned right and moved on with my day.
About five minutes later, I pulled into my gym parking lot and listened to the voicemail from Jimmy. It went like this: “Hey man, it’s Jimmy. Hope you’re well. Just calling to apologize for cutting you off in a Mini Cooper a few minutes ago…”
I had a good ol’ laugh in the parking lot and texted him that I got his voicemail, that he didn’t really need to apologize for anything and I told him to a have a great day. Did I maybe end the text by telling him “no worries… but you do seem like a pretty shitty driver”? Maybe.
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
WHILE STANDING IN THE GRIEVING LINE at my Uncle Bill's wake, I overheard the woman in front of me offering her condolences to my aunt.
"Mary, I'm so sorry," she said. "But doesn't Billy look good?"
"He should," replied my aunt." "He hasn't had a drink in four days."
(Credit: AA Grapevine, by Don M., April 2004)
Please spread the word to a sober friend! Find me on Substack… or Twitter… or Facebook… or Instagram… or YouTube. And introducing my web site, LOLsober.com.
