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I specifically remember the first time I heard the Seven Deadly Sins mentioned in sober literature because I groaned out loud. I didn’t love having something so specifically attached to religion included in a program that is supposed to be spiritual, not religious. And for someone like me, that’s bad—I came into the program ready to argue about that kind of thing because I wanted sobriety, not a religious conversion. So I was on the lookout for anything that might be a little too religiousy.
I got over that pretty quick because I had wise people who explained that you don’t have to be religious. You can pick whatever higher power you want, and then you can change it every month if you want. You can go to church… or not. Your call.
And as far as the Seven Deadly Sins are involved, it turns out, I’ve grown to like them because it’s a pretty good list of seven things I really need to watch for!
As a reminder, the Seven Deadly Sins are pride, anger, greed, gluttony, lust, envy and sloth. I only remember them because I have a sober friend who always uses the acronym PAGGLES as a handy way to recall them.
I am talking about this today because I was at a meeting recently where we discussed the Seven Deadly Sins in an interesting way. Someone started the meeting by saying they like the list but they don’t like the framing of “the seven deadly” sins because it’s so dark and foreboding. She also said that the reason we have a list of these seven things is because they are in all of us. As in, they are natural human instincts that even the most spiritually healthy people in the history of the world have dealt with. Gandhi had envy and greed. Mother Theresa must have felt sloth and gluttony from time to time.
So her point was, she didn’t like these things that are absolutely naturally within all of us to be characterized as terrible and deadly. If that were the case, why did our higher powers put them in there?
That really struck me, and then my head exploded a little more when another guy started explaining how each of the seven deadly sins actually can be viewed pretty positively if you have them in the right doses. Key phrase: in the right doses.
He started talking about each one of the seven, and he described scenarios where you can make the case that they are wonderful things. For instance…
With pride, I have pride in my recovery. I take pride in brushing my teeth and washing my clothes. I work hard in my professional life and take pride in some of that work. I definitely take pride in helping others try to get sober.
Anger is an emotion that is pretty much always bad. But if you sub in a synonym for anger like displeasure or exasperation, there are scenarios where a micro dose of displeasure or exasperation might be a good motivating emotion. For example, let’s say your town’s mayor stole the entire budget to buy himself a yacht and a mansion. Or that a company overcharged senior citizens for their medications and you lead a petition to make them make things right.
Greed is also a tough one. But if you run a small business that’s competing against Walmart in the town you live in, and you do really well and Walmart shuts down business in that town, that could technically be characterized as greed. Same with lots of other business scenarios where one person might see greed and others might see successful capitalism. I’ll admit, figuring out good greed isn’t my favorite activity. So it might be less “good greed” and more “greed that isn’t horrible.”
Gluttony and sloth could be you saving up money all year to go on vacation for a week, and then just sleeping in every morning, laying around on the beach all day and enjoying ridiculous amounts of food all night.
Envy is mostly bad, but in recovery we always say, “Find people who have what you want,” which I consider a positive kind of envy. I love meeting sober people who possess some character asset that I don’t, and then trying to learn it from them. Deep down, that’s pretty much envy, right?
Last but not least… lust. I won’t get too deep in the weeds on that one because nobody really wants to hear me riff too much on lust. I actually looked up the definition of lust and it’s pretty interesting: Lust can mean intense sexual desire, or an intense longing, or enthusiasm/eagerness.
The intense sexual desire thing can be very bad, for sure. But we’re also human beings with a natural inclination to procreate. So a certain amount of lust is supposed to happen, right?
And then for the other two definitions, I was struck by the example sentences included in the definition.
“A lust to succeed.”
“We admired his lust for life.”
OK, a lust to succeed can be pretty good in certain circumstances. I think most newcomers trying to stop drinking vodka all day and night probably would want a lust to succeed. I think a lust to succeed in your job isn’t necessarily bad.
And I think I want a lust for life, don’t I? In that context, lust seems like the ultimate compliment! I got sober because I wanted to find a lust for life again, and I mostly have. So that’s a good thing in my opinion!
With all of that in mind, maybe we need to hire a brand manager or a marketing expert to repackage the seven deadly sins…
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
How many sponsors does it take to change a light bulb?
One—as long as the light bulb is willing to change.
(Credit: AA Grapevine, December 2003, Carlos S. of Alamos, Sonora)
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