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A friend shared something the other day that he found to be an epiphany, and I ended up feeling the same way. I’ll throw it your way and you let me know if it is profound to you.
He shared that at a 12-step meeting once, a guy asked everybody in the room to raise their hand if they liked to help others. Almost everybody raised their hand.
Then the same dude asked, “Raise your hand if you like to ask for help.” Almost nobody raised their hand.
That totally makes sense, right? Most of us sober people, even those of us with quite a bit of recovery time under our belts, prefer to do nice things for others than ask for nice things from others. I actually have no issue with that—I’d always rather err on the side of doing more for others than I ask for myself.
However, it is pretty profound that I think the results would be almost the same at any meeting you went to—100 percent of people wanting to help, 0 percent wanting to ask for help. That’s kind of bad, isn’t it? Don’t we want some balance there?
But it is hard, and I’ve been experiencing it quite a bit lately. I have had some health issues and needed assistance. I have been doing pretty well with accepting help. But going out of my way to ask for it? Oof. I’m not there yet.
What was really interesting about the whole conversation was that my friend said it crystallized for him something important to remember—that we all acknowledge the need to be of service to others, but yet don’t participate in the other half of that chain, where we provide service opportunities to others. The whole supply-demand scenario of doing nice things for others doesn’t work if there are only people giving help, not wanting any of it.
So make sure you do your part to keep the supply chain rolling!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
HEARD AT MEETINGS
"The trouble with immediate gratification is that it isn't fast enough."
(Credit: Grapevine, January 2009, by Rick W. of New York, NY)
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