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Some people see God at church. Some people see God when they look at the stars. Some people see God in nature. Some people see God in the rooms of 12-step recovery. And some people see God… on stones with their dead cats’ names on them.
I bet that sounds weird, huh? Well, let me explain. My wife and I have had seven cats since we have been together (yes, we’re old!). We lost four of them over the years, and with the passing of each, we had a small stone made with their names engraved.
For the past 15 years or so, those stones sat somewhere in our house and I totally forgot we even had them. Then, a few weeks ago, my wife tore out some shrubs in our front yard, near the walkway from the driveway into our house. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to put there instead, but then one day I came home and she had put a bunch of flat stones in the bed, right near where we park our cars.
I thought it was very nice and walked into the house. I walked past the stones the next day and felt the same thing. Then one day I limped home from the gym, sweating and beat up. When I got out of my car, I was a little wobbly and ended up walking on the stones, sort of by accident. I was struck by how grounded those few steps made me. They connected me with my best little furry friends from my past. I had a few moments where I felt incredible love and appreciation for what my cats have provided to me over the years. I also felt a sense of loss that didn’t make me sad; it just made me feel present and grateful for what I had with them, and what I have right now with my three little furry buddies still chasing random paper balls around my house.
You might be wondering, what does this have to do with sobriety? Well, a lot, actually. One of the most important things I need to think about every day is whether what I am doing is contributing to my spiritual condition, or subtracting from it. There are obvious things that contribute to my spiritual condition—going to a 12-step meeting, or talking to my sponsor or a sponsee. There are obvious things that subtract from my spiritual condition—like driving into New York City or arguing with one of my teenaged kids.
But there are lots of not-so-obvious things that can contribute to my spiritual condition, too. Soaking in some sunlight… a late-night peaceful walk… a quiet nap… a good song or two… sitting on a beach… a nice sunset or sunrise… a strong breeze on a warm day… and lots of pet stuff. I find my mood improves every single time one of my cats crawls up beside me and starts purring as I pet the little guy. I also feel a little more serene when I come across a cool dog in the neighborhood. And now I purposely walk through those stones in my front yard because it pulls me closer to the calm, kind place that I want to be.
I’ve had a few times recently where I come home wound up over something, or left the house wound up over something. Every time I walk through that path I feel a little more grounded, a little more right-sized.
So to make my point directly, I am writing about the cat tombstone walk because I think those kinds of things can be very valuable small additions to a better spiritual condition. Some of my best days are when I stack these spiritual things one on top of another. It’s hard to have a bad day if your schedule is stacked with things that introduce joy and gratitude and calm into every hour. You don’t have time to be an a*****e!
That should be your takeaway today: Find small spiritual things and surround yourself with them, so that you run out the clock on being an a*****e!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
HEARD AT MEETINGS: “I’ve spent my share of nights in jail. Thank God, nowadays, the only thing being arrested is my physical, mental and moral decline.”
(Credit: AA Grapevine, March 2001, Kevin J. from Evanston, Illinois)
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