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As I have mentioned a few times, I love the Instagram account Sarcastic AA memes. The person who runs it also has published a few books of memes about recovery, too, and I find them hilarious… but also very cutting and true. This person gets it. I’d highly recommend either buying a book or two or at least giving the account a follow on social media. I promise it will give you a few laughs.
I was particularly interested in a recent meme called “Ideas for meeting topics,” and then it lists seven possibilities. One, health status of pet. Two, things bothering me that will be irrelevant hours from now. Three, the program “explained properly.” Four, thoughts on the steps I’ve never done. Five, ways I’m better than you all. Six, ways I’m worse than you all. Seven, things I’m not doing but talking about doing. And then there is a sentence that says “Written by someone who’s used all of them.”
I won’t go through each one of them but I have had some experience with all seven, and all seven made me at least smile because I identify with each item. I cringed a little bit about the pet one because on one hand, I get it, I don’t go to meetings to hear about your pet situation… but I have shared about my pets, and I have enjoyed hearing about other people when they discuss their pets. I actually don’t subscribe to the idea that there are luxury problems when it comes to sobriety—if your cat is sick or your plant dies and you are falling apart and in danger of relapsing, that isn’t a luxury problem, that’s just a problem. So I am here for pet talk!
The concept of someone sharing about steps they’ve never done is funny to me, because I definitely have heard plenty of that in the rooms, and I think when I was new I would share my opinions about Step 9 or Step 12. The thing that sometimes bugs me is people who say they did the steps in 1982 and that’s the only time they did them, because in my humble opinion, the steps are tools I will use the rest of my life. I don’t view stepwork like a high school degree, where you do it and you get a certificate and you are done. I need to keep going.
The last item on that list is one of the biggest things I need to be on the look out for. I can’t tell you how many times in recent years where I noticed that my awareness of issues is tremendous… and my actions are not. I’ve said “I need to get to more meetings” and “I should take on more service work” and “I should try therapy” many times without actually doing it, and that’s a clear sign of a problem, in my opinion. It’s not enough to think I have a problem. It’s not enough to KNOW I have a problem. It’s only enough when you are taking good action to combat the problem.
I will give myself some credit for realizing that when it comes to seeking outside help this past fall. I felt like I had stalled out a bit in some areas, and I mentioned to everybody in my network that I was thinking about therapy. And then I did it. So I am proud of that.
You might notice I left out any mention of the time between saying it repeatedly to people and actually going to see a therapist… I think it was a good six months, maybe more. But hey, progress, not perfection!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
QUESTION: What do you call it when an AA sponsor always seems to have a group of admiring sponsees in tow?
ANSWER A spontourage.
(Credit: Grapevine, by Kristen B. of Cambridge, Massachusetts, May 2009)
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