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I’ve been on a lot of airplanes recently and… oof. It’s as unfun as ever. The airports and planes are packed, some people can be very grumpy, and the airlines don’t cater to my every need. (What is wrong with them?!?!)
On one recent plane ride, though, I saw something pretty cool. An older couple, probably around 80 years old, boarded early and was sitting near the front of the plane. They sat down and proceeded to fist bump every single person that boarded the plane. “Let’s have a good flight,” they were saying to everybody.
At first, I was thinking, Oh god, I don’t really need to be touching any strangers on this plane.
But people seemed to like it. Hell, I liked it. It was a totally unnecessary gesture and served no real purpose for the plane ride. But geez, the whole plane felt different when we took off. People seemed a little less irritated, and it felt like there were more smiles on that plane than all of the others I’d been on, combined. Their small kind gesture mattered.
When the plane landed and the seat belt sign went off, I noticed that there wasn’t the usual rush to get off the plane. Usually, people start standing up and boxing out others like they’re going for an NBA Finals rebound. This time, people stood up and started to collect their things to deboard the plane, but everybody gave that couple a chance to get moving first. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one appreciated such a cute little moment.
It was a good reminder that not all good deeds need to be gigantic. Holding a door, returning a shopping cart, fist-bumping every dolt with a carry-on… these small things add up to a kinder, gentler life, especially for an addict like me. I need to be doing as much as possible to be of service to others. If I don’t, I start to drift back into thinking only about myself.
I had a good few days afterward, and I doubled down on something I’ve been doing recently. I’ve been trying to tip workers unexpectedly—cashiers at Dunkin or the gas station, the lady at Subway who makes my sandwich, even the guy at Barnes and Noble who rings me up. Why not? Those people work really hard and nobody ever tips them.
Let me be upfront, though, about still being a work in progress. I constantly have to keep an eye out for my motives, because I do tend to let my hand hover above the tip jar until the worker spots my incredible kindness and acknowledges it. I need that person to know what a superhero I am.
And this weekend, I really caught myself trying to replicate that old couple’s gesture, but without the selflessness they displayed. I bought $12.36 worth of stuff at a 7-11, and all I had was a couple of $20s in my pocket. The guy at the register had greeted me on the way in and seemed to be hustling his butt off to keep customers taken care of. So as I looked at the total, and then the $20 I was about to hand him, I said screw it. “Keep the change,” I told him.
“OK,” he said.
And then… nothing. He just went about his business, and I picked up my merchandise and started to leave. I kept waiting to hear an endless parade of appreciative words from the guy and he gave me nothing.
As I walked to the car, I was muttering under my breath about how this clown would dare not recognize my kindheartedness. How could he not be in debt forever to the guy who gave him $7?
Luckily, I can laugh at myself now in sobriety, and those bonkers conversations don’t last nearly as long as they used to. By the time I unlocked the car and put the milk and Doritos on the passenger seat, I was laughing at my inability to do a kind gesture for the sake of doing a kind gesture.
As usual… I guess I’ll keep coming!
ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT JOKE OF THE DAY
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke.
A woman comes home after a couple of hours spent drinking in her favorite tavern. As she falls through the doorway, her husband snaps at her, “What’s the big idea coming home half drunk?”
The woman replies, “I’m sorry, honey, I ran out of money.”
(Credit: AA Grapevine, Feb. 2000, Shirlene)
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