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We’re flying to Disney today, which is the happiest place on earth. Allegedly. I’m already taking deep breaths.
It’s actually a wonderful gift that I can take my family there every couple of years. They love it. It is an awesome experience that my whole crew looks back on fondly. It’s one of those adventures that we will all always have. We’ll think about it and talk about it forever, and my kids will take their kids because they remember the trip with such warmth.
But… holy s**t, there’s a lot of actual warmth there. As in, 89 degrees and pure sun all day, while you’re hiking 1,000 miles on nothing but pavement. Then people start getting a little feisty because they’re sweaty and tired and hungry, and then somebody twists an ankle and somebody else gets one small area of horrible sunburn and… on and on. Getting five people to and from Disney is basically a military operation.
I’m bringing this up here because I have found Disney to be both incredible and also a big strain on my sobriety. I’ve always tried to make sure my spiritual condition is strong before we leave, and that has mattered. I’ve had to tap into my spiritual reservoir quite a bit to stay as sane as possible, and I often have tried to get to at least one meeting in Orlando to make sure I stay on track.
It’s not that I worry about picking up drugs or alcohol. It’s that I start to drift and start to turn into an irritable hot mess that nobody wants to be around. I’ve figured out a few tips and tricks that I again will be deploying this year. These tips and tricks work for Disney but they also could be used any time on any trip, really.
Here goes:
—Get in tip-top spiritual shape before you go. Get to a meeting or two every day for a week before you go.
—One call per day with a sober buddy. Maybe more, if you need it.
—Get to a meeting wherever you’re going. It’s always fun to see how recovery happens in other places. You’ll always be glad you went.
—Pray for the people you are with. This sounds like sarcasm but I mean it. When you wake up in the morning, take a moment to pray that the people you are with have a day they will always remember. Seriously, it redirects your thinking toward being present in a lifelong memory, which always reminds me to be patient and loving and understanding.
—Say to yourself that understanding is more important than being understood. Say it again. These trips are about multiple people all functioning as one organism, so nobody ever really gets their way in its entirety. Make sure you are hearing peoples’ needs before jamming your own down their throat. If you set expectations on how things are going to go, I promise you, it will not happen and you will be aggravated.
—HALT is real for everybody you are with. HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Everybody you are with will have moments of all four of those things, including you. To expect somebody to not be snippy when they are tired and need a sandwich is absurd. Feed people. Let people sleep. Have grace when somebody’s temper flares.
As I read those, I’m thinking how great the tips are… and how I am hoping I get a B- and C+ in the actual execution of them in real life. I’ll report back how I do!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
HEARD AT MEETINGS
"I started out as a social drinker. Then I had my second drink."
(Credit: Grapevine,by James J. of Hamilton, Ohio, May 2008)
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