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I meditate for 20 minutes a day, and I really like going to YouTube and hunting down 10- or 20-minute guided meditations. There are so many options available for the kinds of sessions you can do (gratitude, getting rid of negativity, acceptance, etc.). Try it some time—especially if you’re somebody who wants to meditate but struggles because your mind races or you can’t sit still. I find the guided ones to be soothing and helpful in holding my hand through meditation some days.
Anyway, I had two in a row recently that mentioned the idea of being a magnet for good things. I took that as a sign that I might need to hear that right now. I’ve heard that concept many times over the years and caught myself blowing it off as hippy-dippy new age b******t. But that’s a good window into one of my character defects—a lack of open-mindedness and dismissiveness when it comes to spiritual concepts and pursuits.
The truth is, the idea that you attract things you put out there constantly comes to fruition in my life. When I inject gossip or judgmentalism into a conversation, it’s almost inevitable that the other person either nods along or adds something, too. When I start complaining about the traffic on a certain road, the person standing in front of me usually responds with a story about bad traffic on that road, also. That stuff ends up being lint traps for crap I don’t need more of.
I’ve also found the opposite to be true. When I express gratitude or something else positive, the other person tends to keep rowing the conversation in that direction. Or, if I am on a rant and the other person steers it toward a positive direction, I ultimately reverse course a bit and get dragged toward a better place. It really is magnetization.
I’m reminded of a recent interaction I had with somebody I hadn’t seen in awhile. I’m at the fist bump stage of re-entering society… I’m not quite ready for handshakes yet, and hugs is like asking me to meet you at a motel for an hour. You gotta buy me a few dinners first, okay?
So I saw this guy and I wanted to say hello, and I reached out with a fist bump. At almost the exact same time, he put his hand out for a handshake. But he saw my fist bump and shifted from a handshake to a fist bump. It was awkward for one second but we exchanged a fist bump and pleasantries and it was quite nice.
That reminds me of my role in being a magnet. In that situation, I’ve never had anybody who just leaves their hand out for a handshake and stares at you—they meet you where you’re at. And that goes for my attitude.
That’s my role: I need to be putting out positive stuff, because that’s what I want to be magnetized to attract back. I definitely have people in my life who don’t participate when I offer up a storm cloud of negative crap, but I don’t want to always need somebody to catch me and turn me around. I’d rather be that guy for other people.
Maybe I can morph into Magneto and control magnetic fields! In the mean time, though, maybe I’ll just try to stop s**t-talking that guy in the office as much as I have been.
ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT JOKE OF THE DAY
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke.
A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender says, “Boy, you look like you need a drink!” The man says, “Okay” and gets the drink, but he doesn’t have the money to pay for it, so the bartender kicks him out.
The man returns an hour later, even drunker, and the bartender explodes. “I kicked you out earlier. I don’t want to see your face in here again.” The drunk says, “Why, I’ve never been in here before!”
“Oh really?” says the bartender. “Then you must have a double.”
“Okay,” says the drunk, “and not too much ice.”
(Credit: AA Grapevine, March 2000, Steve P. from Sarasota, FL)
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