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I stumbled upon a statistic the other day that really got me thinking. A human breaths in and out about 22,000 times per day. That’s 916 breaths per hour. That’s about 16 breaths per minute, which is about one breath every four seconds.
That sounds about right to me. But I am fascinated by the relationship between the act of physically breathing, and my spiritual state. When I am aggravated or fearful, my breathing speeds up, and when my breathing speeds up, whether I realize it or not, I am a little bit off. I am a little more likely to say or do something based on my mood, not how I actually wish I had behaved. So I feel like there is a direct relationship between my breathing and my behavior.
I noticed this recently with my oldest daughter, who’s learning to drive. She likes to drive in silence so she can really, really concentrate. And I can sometimes hear her breathing speed up when she gets near a tricky intersection. She’s been on the highway once so far, for about one mile, and during that stretch of road, it sounded like Darth Vadar had joined us.
I get it. Since I read the thing about 22,000 breaths, I’ve noticed that my body tends to match my brain in tense situations. I was on an airplane the other day landing in Chicago during a thunderstorm, and the Windy City lived up to its name. I found myself gripping the arm rest like I was attempting a submission in a UFC fight, and my breathing was fast and short, and my heart rate was very high.
But I noticed it in the moment, and I decided to slow my breathing down. I tried breathing as slowly as possible, and I think instead of the normal 16 times per minute, I bet I breathed about five times per minute for awhile. And guess what? My heart rate seemed to slow down, and I stopped choking out my arm rests.
This probably doesn’t come as breaking news to most people. Breathing, of course, is a huge part of my daily meditation routine, too. Maybe that’s why meditation seems to help me and so many other alcoholics and addicts? Who knew?!?!?
So I have an action plan going forward. I am going to try to trim off 500 breaths a day, and I am going to pay particular attention to slowing down my lungs during potentially tense moments. I have three kids, including two teenagers, so there are plenty of times every day when there is some butting of heads happening around me. Those times will be great practice!
By my math, I think I breath about five times per minute when I am meditating, which is 11 fewer per minute than a normal breathing minute. So 20 minutes of meditation, times 11 fewer breaths, saves me about 220 breaths. That means I need to find about 25 other minutes where I am cognizant of my breathing and try to go down to about one breath every 12 seconds. Boom, that gets me near 500 fewer breaths.
I think to do this, I am going to need to find some ritualistic spots to do it. Perhaps it’s something like every time I walk into my bathroom, I remember to purposely slow down my breaths while I am in there. Or maybe it’s before I open the refrigerator every time, I take two or three long, slow breaths, instead of panting as I get ready to crush some snack I probably don’t need to be eating.
All right, I got a little lost in the weeds just now of statistically figuring out something my body does without prompting all day every day. I guess the broader point is, slowing down my breathing will help slow me down, which will slow down bad thinking, bad speaking and bad acting.
Will it cause a big change? I don’t know. But if I can have even a little less Darth Vadar in my life, that’s probably a good thing.
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
Before a meeting was about to start, the young chairperson asked the older newcomer to read, “How It Works,” giving him a photocopied sheet from Chapter Five of the Big Book. A few minutes later, the newcomer politely handed the sheet back to the chairperson.
“You’re supposed to read this,” explained the chair.
“I just did,” said the elderly beginner.
(Credit: AA Grapevine, Jan. 2000, by Ernie S. and Doug R., New York, NY)
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