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The modem at my house is just okay. I somehow have no issues with dropping out of Zooms or getting booted off the internet. But my kids and my wife apparently do.
So it has been a nonstop source of frustration for them, and they continue to gameplan how to get better Wifi. That has brought us to an interesting crossroads for me and them.
I’m content with what we got. They keep coming to me with deals to save lots of money and get better service, to add this and subtract that, and bundle x, y and z… and they all sound dubious to me.
I also am not seeing the issues they’re describing, so I usually end up feeling like we might be thinking the grass is going to be greener by replacing what we got.
Their viewpoint is that we pay a lot of money for our cable, phone and internet, and that the modem should be better than it is. Our bill is high enough that my wife thinks it’s worth haggling over the price, too. She ended up on the phone with the cable company for several hours the other day, and it was a little combative. So she was aggravated that afternoon, even after she hung up.
She booked a tech person from another company to come out and assess our layout, and when she told me that, she said, “What’s the harm?”
There really isn’t any harm. But I found that an interesting question for me at this stage in my sobriety. I understand the case for haggling for the best price possible and for calling out bad service. I think I understand exactly where the rest of my family is coming from in this instance.
However… I don’t quite see it the same way. For me—and again, this is just me—I pay a spiritual price when I get locked in on that feeling of somebody getting something over on me. I shared a few weeks ago about how much it irritated me to get zapped for $50 for my EZPass supposedly not working once, even though it worked 20 other times before and after the alleged missed toll.
So my answer to “What’s the harm?” is actually a lot. I find three or four hours devoted to saving $10, and MAYBE having slightly better internet than what I already think is fine, to be a waste of spiritual energy. I’m also an addict, so I spent lots of time during active addiction and even now not being able to just enjoy what I have. Addiction is a disease of more for me.
So I try to avoid a lot of that stuff. I don’t want to drain that spiritual bank account. Despite what I am describing here, I’ve tried it many times and continue to try it, but pushing for something that might be better has been mostly a waste of time and emotional energy for me.
Does that mean I get taken advantage of sometimes? It might. I’m not aware of any serious situations, but I bet once in awhile I am a sucker. I know one recent example where a lot of people would probably feel differently. We got a $75 dinner order one night, and one item was missing and another didn’t have everything in it that was supposed to be in there. We all had a fine dinner but the rest of my crew wanted to call and ream the place out, put up a nasty Yelp review, etc. I get that.
But I felt like that wasn’t worth it to me. For me, I said I was fine with just not going back to that restaurant. It didn’t feel like a gift card or a $15 refund was worth even five minutes of my time. I didn’t feel the need to drive back over there and demand what was missing. I was ready to move on.
My point on all of this isn’t that you should feel the same way I did, or the same way my family did in any of these circumstances. I just think “What’s the harm?” is a good question to always ask. And if the answer is “It will harm my serenity”… well, it’s worth working through that and making sure that’s what you want.
Or… you could just follow my example and find a loved one who’s willing to do the spiritual haggling for you!
ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT JOKE OF THE DAY
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
A speaker at a meeting introduced himself: "Hi, I'm an alcoholic. My name is irrelevant."
So everyone replied, "Hi, irrelevant."
(Credit: AA Grapevine, June 2005)
Please spread the word to a sober friend! Find me on Substack… or Twitter… or Facebook… or Instagram… or YouTube. And introducing my web site, LOLsober.com.
