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I was at a meeting the other day in which we read the story in the back of the Big Book where the author describes her state of being as “restless, irritable and discontent.”
I always liked that phrase, because it is a good description of how I feel when I roll out of bed many days. I used to drink to try to calm that, and then I got sober and had to figure out ways to mellow out and not become that phrase.
At the meeting, I got a chance to share and I joked that if I ever start a band of sober people, I might pick the name “R.I.D.” for “Restless, Irritable and Discontent”. People laughed and nodded their heads, and it seemed like others might choose that, too. Imagine a PA intro guy screaming, “Ladies and gentlemen, coming to the stage next… big round of applause for ‘Restless, Irritable and Discontent’!”
Then I started wondering, What would I actually pick as the band name that best captures my sobriety? R.I.D. is a pretty good option. I think the music would have to be pretty angsty, though. I don’t think that name works for a gospel band, ya know?
I also loved the recovery phrase “pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization,” which you could use the acronym P.A.I.D, which is kind of cool. I think that group would be a heavy metal band.
What about “The Recovered?” That has a very refined tone to it. I think we’d have to sing heavy songs, though. Very deep and meaningful. Painful songs with soul.
I could also see a 70s cover band called “Easy Does It.” Maybe do Creedence Clearwater Revival, Tom Petty, The Beach Boys. Just vibe out with some yacht rock from some former drunks.
Or maybe you name your group “The Procrastinators” and produce very chill elevator music, and your first album is named “Lazy Does It.”
Or how about a grunge band of alcoholics out of Seattle known as “The Contempt Prior To Investigation?”
What about a hiphop band named “The Serenity Playaz”? Like the Serenity Prayer? Get it?
What about a 24-alcoholic orchestra that plays classical music that is called “The 12 and 12ers”?
Ooh, how about a band of Alabama alcoholics that performs the Joe and Charlie Tapes as slow-jam country songs, and we call that group “The Joe and Charlie Daniels Band”?
Last but not least, let’s not forget the children. Let’s get some alcoholics together to sing kid songs, and we’ll call that band, “The Bozos on the Bus Go Swish-Swish-Swish.”
OK, that last one is particularly dumb. But hopefully you smiled. If you have an alcoholic band name, put it in the comments!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
Q: Why can’t alcoholics sing well?
A: They only know one note—mi, mi, mi, mi, mi.
(Credit Grapevine, May 2008, by Gary O. of Anaconda, Montana)
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