I didn’t plan to record this episode. But Mercury retrograde and eclipse season don’t give a damn about plans. And honestly? Maybe that’s the point.
This conversation wasn’t “supposed” to happen—but the universe (and the goddesses) had other ideas. And after sitting with it, I realized that was the perfect setup for an episode that’s really about trusting the pivots, letting go of what no longer fits, and allowing yourself to transform—awkward, messy, and all.
I sat down with Tandy Gutierrez, creator of The Magic Spark and my bestie, for a conversation that dove deep into the real shit: the in-between space—when you’re shedding old layers, but the new ones haven’t fully formed yet. When what used to bring you comfort, connection, or pleasure suddenly stops working. When your old coping mechanisms aren’t an option anymore, and you have to figure out who you are without them.
This episode also marks something new for me—I’m sharing, for the first time, my own past struggles with alcohol and the process of letting it go. I’ve talked about transformation before, about shedding old habits and stepping into new versions of myself, but I haven’t shared this part. Not publicly. Not like this. It wasn’t about hitting rock bottom; it wasn’t about shame.
It was about realizing that what once felt like celebration, connection, or even just a normal part of life wasn’t actually serving me anymore. And when I finally stopped, when I stripped away the habit, I had to sit with the real question underneath: Who am I without this? This conversation is raw, unfiltered, and deeply personal, because unlearning old coping mechanisms is one thing—but learning new ways to hold yourself, to find joy, to be present without the numbing? Whew, that’s where the practical and the magical meet.
In this episode, we get into:
🌑 Eclipse season & Mercury retrograde realness—why things feel unstable, overwhelming, or just off.🔥 Lilith & Aphrodite linking arms—what happens when self-trust meets self-indulgence, and why pleasure needs to evolve, too.♈️ Venus retrograde in Aries & the identity shift it’s forcing—why your favorite things might not be bringing you joy, and what to do when you’re craving something else but don’t know what yet.🦋 The skin-shedding process—what it actually looks like when you stop numbing, stop forcing, and start listening to what your body and spirit really need.
This is a raw, unfiltered, and deeply personal conversation about release, reinvention, and stepping into your next version—even when you’re still figuring out what that looks like. If you’re in the thick of transformation, if you’re feeling stuck between what was and what’s next, if you’re sitting in the discomfort of no longer being able to ignore what isn’t working—this one is for you.
